Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The importance of being able to laugh.

There have been things going on. lots of them. There are two sides to this, we've had great things, and we've had craziness that makes you either laugh or cry. I choose laughter almost every time :)

So, this Goofy ass Child of mine, oh, Lord, have mercy. He got his IEP and the very next week I'm laughing as the phrase, "But it's in his IEP!" runs through my head. All year, his teacher has been on top of everything. She's awesome. You know how rare that is, so I want common things in his IEP because the next teacher may not be so easy to work with. One thing they added since one of the Goofy One's problems is handwriting is that the "teacher will check daily homework sheet/planner for legibility." I like this a lot because 1. there needs to be a daily homework sheet/planner, and 2. someone will make sure I can read it. It's in his IEP. That means it has to be done. The first week after the IEP, he came home with a blank square. No behavior, no homework. Goofy says he had a sub. Fine. I'm laughing. "But it's in his IEP!" Then the next day, he comes home with a note that he didn't turn in his homework and circles that I didn't sign my parts and yesterday's blank space magically has an assignment now. I'm offended. and I say so. Then the next day, it's blank again! I took a picture of that bitch. It's BLANK. Blank means no homework. *firm nod*


Now, I have to say that in all of the days of this year, this is the first time we've had this happen which is why I find it humorous. I'm going to assume she's going through the same Lord-get-me-through-this-day time that I am.

But then, the Goofy Child's IEP is in place. That means he's getting OT. OT is supposed to have a communication log to let me know what she's doing with my kid. It's not in his IEP, I knew better than to let that go, but it was agreed to so I did let it go. I've not seen a communication log. I have had no communication. Where is the communication? I ask. and I get communication "(as requested)" and I'm offended. Damned right it's requested! Be mad, I don't care. But that note lit my fuse. I text my very soon to be ex-husband and asked for something to go with my alcohol. I did promise not to drunk email and promised that if I did, I would edit sober before sending it. Then I was distracted and forgot to email at all. By the time I got around to it, I had calmed down enough to just chill. After that one note "(as requested)", I got nothin'. So, fine. The resource teacher says she's the case manager. I don't know if that's only for writing the IEP or if she's coordinating the team, so I go ahead and ask. She suggests I contact the OT directly. Alright, then. *cracks knuckles*

Now, here's a serious part that you might want to pay attention to. I always tell you to ask nicely the first time. I can promise you, after the first time it does get nasty, but I always try to give that chance to work together. So, I emailed her. I asked what days he has OT so that I can know when to expect the note home, suggested using a folder specifically for OT for his communication log, and implied that I was not getting the notes she was sending. I cc'd the principal and the area coordinator. The message was clear- I expect the notes, I'm not getting them, and others are now aware of it. BUT, I gave her the chance to save face on what is already done while making sure we have a plan for the future. If I had gone in exploding on her with things I wanted to say, it would have started a fight right away with everyone defending themselves and nothing being accomplished. This way, I get what I want without making her look like an ass in front of her bosses. The first time, you need to give them a way out. You can't be calling names or attacking them with accusations of laziness or incompetence (even if it is true) because you are the one who's going to look like an ass and no one is going to want to help you.

 Alright, so that's settled, but there's more. Last Friday was the last IEP meeting of the year (Praise Jesus!). I'm sitting there with Alex's mommy when my phone rings. Elementary. I have to take this call, but my phone is broken and has to be on speakerphone. I get up and make my way around the crowded space, through 6 of the other people smooshed into the small space and get to the outer room. I take the call. on speakerphone. because my phone is broke. It's Goofy's assistant principal. She would like to tell me about an incident my child was involved in on the bus. As soon as I hear that, I'm like, *oh, that's why he's back in the front seat.* I'm expecting the usual wild child. No. She says apparently one of Goofy's friends wasn't on the bus the previous evening and Goofy felt that a fifth grader was a little too happy about it. This upset Goofy. It seems that Goofy is pretty good friends with the absent child. I have to stop her to ask if it was the neighbor girl, if it's the neighbor girl, nothing she says is going to surprise me she's his only friend, they have been inseparable and raising hell together since they were 2. It was the neighbor girl.  Ok, so Goofy is offended that this fifth grader is too happy for his liking that the neighbor girl is not on the bus so he looks at the boy, does John Cena's *You Can't See Me* and punches him in the nose. So, here I am, standing just outside of a difficult IEP meeting, on speakerphone, with my hand clamped over my mouth, trying desperately to silence my laughter while this woman is completely sober telling me about the incident and that she would appreciate it if I could reinforce the consequences at home. One I could keep my voice straight, I promised and headed back into the meeting.

The meeting did not go well, with this school it never does which is why this school is a definite NO for my boys. Absolutely not, never going to happen, over my dead body. I freaking hate this school and their "we have 120 students" so they don't want extra work. Fucking people. Goofy's school has 575 students. Alex's school has 120-150. They can just shut up with their we're too busy to meet her needs. So, I don't want this one. uh-uh. However, you know my luck, right? I got a job. WOO! The hours are flexible and few and I could possibly bring heathens when I need to for parts of it. except, the job is in this fucking school district. That's going to be fun. I have another friend in this district who swears it's good, but I have seen no evidence of "good." Today, we're taking the sister's kindergarten registration papers back to the school. There's a place there that I need more information on. With any luck, this move will be very temporary, but it's a start and I'm happy for that. Good thing I've got my sense of humor back, I think we're going to need it :)

Friday, May 9, 2014

Goofiness and Awesome Kids

I think I may have been offline a little too long. Seems I missed a lot of shit. Can't say I'm sorry. While I was gone, I guess another parent killed their kid and started up the same old debate of is it lack of services and overwhelming stress or are all parents just natural born killers who hate all autistics....? Yeah, I'm glad I missed that one. I'm a whole lot happier not fighting the fight. Wanna see what I've been doing instead? Of course you do or you wouldn't be here :) Check this out...

Remember way back when I was actually writing and I told you that I couldn't legitimately call these heathens my legion of evil anymore because they are soooo good and sweet and well behaved? I lied. There is just too much to tell you, so I'm going to show you. I have to say, my house is a friggin mess and I couldn't be happier about it so judge on. Here we go.








The Goofy Child tried to explode me with TNT.


Alex picked up my sunglasses on the way out,
 so I let him wear them...
and he did!






The Goofy Child sharing wishes :)

Alex is making messes on purpose.
I told him I was going to beat his ass,
He told me no. :)


We are all about safety in this house.



Yes, we text in the same room.
We like it.

 
Oh my goodness. This day. This one, I was laughing at Alex and texting. He came up to me, looked me right in the face, smacked my phone out of my hand and kicked it under the refrigerator. I got down to find my phone and he climbed on top of me and rode me like a horse...









spinning tires.

more spinning tires.



These dirty looks, man.
So cute.

The Goofy One showed Alex the grill :/

"No."

"No?"



What is it with these boys and horse rides?


The Goofy Child has taken to freezing his animals.
He likes them cold.

I introduced Alex to selfies.
He says, "Hi, there."
 After the selfies, I was loading the dishwasher. I swear, I only looked away for a minute and I lost my kid. I checked the back porch, the livingroom, the bedrooms... and then I did a more frantic search. My heart was bumpin, man. Then I heard quite vocal stimming....

Kinda hard to decipher, but I think I might know what he wants ;)

Oh, shit. Do I even want to know what he's considering?
 
Apparently not.

Remember the all about safety thing?

 
We've been spending a lot of time with Alex's sister, too.
So pretty :)
 Then, night before last, what was that, Wednesday night? My juvenile delinquent in the making stayed up all night partying. or being pissed that I didn't change his poopy butt quick enough for his preference... same thing. So he decided to skip school yesterday. (yes, his fault. leave it.)

FUN TIME! Here we go!

Lovin' the music.

Not loving waiting on the doctor's office to
make copies of the Goofy Child's papers.

Smoke on the Water playing. He loves it.

Waiting for the sister's school bus.

kinda got them both looking...
I see no resemblance. I think we need DNA tests.

The Goofy Child found a new friend.




Maybe we can talk his dad into getting one.
And that is how we've been spending our time. I'm excited about summer. I can't wait to see what they do.