Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The importance of being able to laugh.

There have been things going on. lots of them. There are two sides to this, we've had great things, and we've had craziness that makes you either laugh or cry. I choose laughter almost every time :)

So, this Goofy ass Child of mine, oh, Lord, have mercy. He got his IEP and the very next week I'm laughing as the phrase, "But it's in his IEP!" runs through my head. All year, his teacher has been on top of everything. She's awesome. You know how rare that is, so I want common things in his IEP because the next teacher may not be so easy to work with. One thing they added since one of the Goofy One's problems is handwriting is that the "teacher will check daily homework sheet/planner for legibility." I like this a lot because 1. there needs to be a daily homework sheet/planner, and 2. someone will make sure I can read it. It's in his IEP. That means it has to be done. The first week after the IEP, he came home with a blank square. No behavior, no homework. Goofy says he had a sub. Fine. I'm laughing. "But it's in his IEP!" Then the next day, he comes home with a note that he didn't turn in his homework and circles that I didn't sign my parts and yesterday's blank space magically has an assignment now. I'm offended. and I say so. Then the next day, it's blank again! I took a picture of that bitch. It's BLANK. Blank means no homework. *firm nod*

Now, I have to say that in all of the days of this year, this is the first time we've had this happen which is why I find it humorous. I'm going to assume she's going through the same Lord-get-me-through-this-day time that I am.

But then, the Goofy Child's IEP is in place. That means he's getting OT. OT is supposed to have a communication log to let me know what she's doing with my kid. It's not in his IEP, I knew better than to let that go, but it was agreed to so I did let it go. I've not seen a communication log. I have had no communication. Where is the communication? I ask. and I get communication "(as requested)" and I'm offended. Damned right it's requested! Be mad, I don't care. But that note lit my fuse. I text my very soon to be ex-husband and asked for something to go with my alcohol. I did promise not to drunk email and promised that if I did, I would edit sober before sending it. Then I was distracted and forgot to email at all. By the time I got around to it, I had calmed down enough to just chill. After that one note "(as requested)", I got nothin'. So, fine. The resource teacher says she's the case manager. I don't know if that's only for writing the IEP or if she's coordinating the team, so I go ahead and ask. She suggests I contact the OT directly. Alright, then. *cracks knuckles*

Now, here's a serious part that you might want to pay attention to. I always tell you to ask nicely the first time. I can promise you, after the first time it does get nasty, but I always try to give that chance to work together. So, I emailed her. I asked what days he has OT so that I can know when to expect the note home, suggested using a folder specifically for OT for his communication log, and implied that I was not getting the notes she was sending. I cc'd the principal and the area coordinator. The message was clear- I expect the notes, I'm not getting them, and others are now aware of it. BUT, I gave her the chance to save face on what is already done while making sure we have a plan for the future. If I had gone in exploding on her with things I wanted to say, it would have started a fight right away with everyone defending themselves and nothing being accomplished. This way, I get what I want without making her look like an ass in front of her bosses. The first time, you need to give them a way out. You can't be calling names or attacking them with accusations of laziness or incompetence (even if it is true) because you are the one who's going to look like an ass and no one is going to want to help you.

 Alright, so that's settled, but there's more. Last Friday was the last IEP meeting of the year (Praise Jesus!). I'm sitting there with Alex's mommy when my phone rings. Elementary. I have to take this call, but my phone is broken and has to be on speakerphone. I get up and make my way around the crowded space, through 6 of the other people smooshed into the small space and get to the outer room. I take the call. on speakerphone. because my phone is broke. It's Goofy's assistant principal. She would like to tell me about an incident my child was involved in on the bus. As soon as I hear that, I'm like, *oh, that's why he's back in the front seat.* I'm expecting the usual wild child. No. She says apparently one of Goofy's friends wasn't on the bus the previous evening and Goofy felt that a fifth grader was a little too happy about it. This upset Goofy. It seems that Goofy is pretty good friends with the absent child. I have to stop her to ask if it was the neighbor girl, if it's the neighbor girl, nothing she says is going to surprise me she's his only friend, they have been inseparable and raising hell together since they were 2. It was the neighbor girl.  Ok, so Goofy is offended that this fifth grader is too happy for his liking that the neighbor girl is not on the bus so he looks at the boy, does John Cena's *You Can't See Me* and punches him in the nose. So, here I am, standing just outside of a difficult IEP meeting, on speakerphone, with my hand clamped over my mouth, trying desperately to silence my laughter while this woman is completely sober telling me about the incident and that she would appreciate it if I could reinforce the consequences at home. One I could keep my voice straight, I promised and headed back into the meeting.

The meeting did not go well, with this school it never does which is why this school is a definite NO for my boys. Absolutely not, never going to happen, over my dead body. I freaking hate this school and their "we have 120 students" so they don't want extra work. Fucking people. Goofy's school has 575 students. Alex's school has 120-150. They can just shut up with their we're too busy to meet her needs. So, I don't want this one. uh-uh. However, you know my luck, right? I got a job. WOO! The hours are flexible and few and I could possibly bring heathens when I need to for parts of it. except, the job is in this fucking school district. That's going to be fun. I have another friend in this district who swears it's good, but I have seen no evidence of "good." Today, we're taking the sister's kindergarten registration papers back to the school. There's a place there that I need more information on. With any luck, this move will be very temporary, but it's a start and I'm happy for that. Good thing I've got my sense of humor back, I think we're going to need it :)

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