Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Sharing Information

January has not been a good blogging month for me. I've been pretty quiet because I'm mostly furious and I don't really want to share that... but, *shrugs*

Yesterday, I came to the conclusion that my anger problems have absolutely nothing to do with my mental health and absolutely everything to do with the school. The song of the day...

"If you feel so empty, So used up, so let down...
If you feel so angry, So ripped off, so stepped on...
You're not the only one Refusing to back down.
You're not the only one, So GET UP!
Let's start a riot!"
What happened was... I still don't have data. Everyone wants to give me reports. I don't want reports or "anecdotal information"... well, I do, but I really want measurable data. I've been clear on that- repeatedly. I've worked hard to be clear and polite- repeatedly- and to not lose my temper, which has gone from simmering to raging boil over the past... day. In my notes for our meeting, I have an argument for not being informed:
"-The National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities' article on RtI (http://nichcy.org/schools-administrators/rti) Quotes a description from the National Center on RtI "With RTI, schools identify students at risk for poor learning outcomes, monitor student progress, provide evidence-based interventions and adjust the intensity and nature of those interventions depending on a student’s responsiveness, and identify students with learning disabilities or other disabilities. (NCRTI, 2010)" The same article acknowledges that "communication with parents and family plays a key role in an RTI process." and notes that while IDEA's provisions for parent notification have not come into play yet, "informing parents along the way is important, valuable, and good policy."

- NCLB 1118 (d)-(e) states clearly the expectation that parents be regarded as "equal partners" in their child's education, it is also clear on the school's responsibility to reach out to, communicate with, and work with parents as equal partners.

- in order to be an equal partner, I need to be fully informed. I have not been informed and my requests to access records have been ignored."

I read, I research, I learn, I ask... and I get angry. Why won't they just listen!? Rights aside, what would it hurt to just give me the freaking data so I can look at it? The data will be discussed at the meeting and if there is something I am confused on or something that I misunderstand, we can discuss it. The fact that they are fighting so hard to not give me what I ask for makes me wonder what they are hiding. The fact that they are not giving me what I ask for means that the information I have right now to present at the meeting is incomplete and possibly inaccurate. Any decision I make needs to be based on the facts, on the data. Without it, I could be headed in a total wrong direction and not even know it.

With every request deflected or ignored, my "please" and "thank you" sound as a bellowing FU!!! in my head, "sir" is more of a sneer, mocking the respect due a person in their position. It's harder and harder to be clear and polite and not let out the stream of curse words that are running through my head with the accusations that are begging to be unleashed.

and then comes the whispered accusation: "hypocrite."

I'm getting frustrated because they are refusing to give me the information I need but I'm not giving them the information they need to understand what I need or why. Giving them the benefit of doubt, they don't see the picture I'm seeing because they are looking from a different perspective. I'm not giving them the information they need to prepare to answer my concerns. That's not fair. Not equal.

So, I took a breath and I jumped, offering an olive branch.

I gave him all of my notes. Every concern, every problem, every argument, every documented source. Hopefully, this will lead to more sharing of information and not a complete lockdown as they circle the wagons :/ We'll see.

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