Monday, December 30, 2013

Blogger Drama- Leave me out of it.

For those of you who are there, this may not come as a surprise but there is an awful lot of drama in the world of bloggers. For the most part, I couldn't care less. I will look at you being a jerk or a dumbass, shake my head and walk on because there is not a person on this Earth who hasn't said or done something worthy of head shaking. Myself being at the front of that line on a regular basis. I sit here and listen to the bullshit, the hypocrisy, the judgmental attitudes, the assumptions that there is only one way to think or believe or to speak and that any difference makes the different the enemy- there is no room for education, explanation, discussion or agree to disagree, only for war- I hear the things that are said that would never be said face to face and I shake my head and walk on, knowing that people are people and knowing from what I see in front of me who can be trusted and who can't, who can be a friend and who would step on me to climb to the next level given that chance or attack me as soon as I step out of their lines. I see you on my personal profile, in my private messaging, in the groups I'm in, on my page, on your pages, in your blogs.  I know who you are from what I see you post to the world and what you say when you think no one is paying attention. I know who you are from the way I see you treat people whether they are (figuratively) standing in front of you or where they could never know what you say. I see and I know where I stand because if you would be like that with them, you would be like that with me. I won't repeat what is said, but I know for myself.

I see and I do not dislike you- I know where you are coming from, I can understand your reasons for what you say. We can even be pretty good friends, I just know where I stand and how close to let that friendship get. I already learned the hard way that even the people you like and trust the most will stomp on you in a heartbeat given a bit of gossip and a foothold into a new world (Raising Rebel Souls, looking at you on that one.) It is what it is and it will be what it will be. Blogging seems to be a cutthroat business because... I don't know why, I guess not everyone can be heard, as if there's limited space on the internet or something, and someone else always has to be wrong so I can be right- it's a lot like a playground with the "if you're friends with so and so, you can't be friends with me" horsecrap I hear being yelled around with the thinking that you have to agree with everything your friends do or you can't be friends which leads to the whole guilty by association.

Now, every once in a while, no matter how hard I try to stay away from the crap, no matter how I ignore it or avoid it, or pretend I never even saw it, I get dragged right into the middle of it so here's a bit of advice that some might consider taking- if you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it behind their back because chances are, they're going to hear it. If you don't want the world to know, don't tell the world. If you don't want anyone to see, don't show anyone. We try to teach our kids internet and cell phone safety by illustrating how quickly things can go viral. We teach them about screen shots and photoshop and that tell a friend game where it goes around the circle and goes from "I want ice-cream" to "the green monkey flew to India on a blue horse"... and then we don't practice what we preach and we get all upset when something we didn't want repeated goes viral... or at least gets repeated to the person we were talking about and in the world of screen shots, the person it was said about doesn't hear about colorful animals. Trust me, I've had a few screen shots handed to me and it's not a fun thing to see. It hurts.

As for the people taking tales back and forth, what's your purpose? What do you hope to accomplish? To cause divide? To show that you are a better friend than the person who had something to say? because I can promise you you're not. To start a war so you can kick back with your popcorn? because it's really not for either the person talking or the person being talked about. Both can do without your interference because all your interference is going to do is cause heartache for both parties with nothing ending up any better than it started out, and more times than not, all ending up a thousand times worse.

And, since we've gone everywhere else, if you don't want to be called an asshole- don't be an asshole. If you are not an asshole- why do you care if they say you are? Does a stranger or semi-stranger's opinion mean so much to you that they get to define who you are? What's that saying... Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter? The people who matter know who you are- good and bad- and choose to stick around. That has to mean more than a bunch of people talking out both sides of their mouths. Let it go or take it to heart, that's your choice.

All that being said, I, personally, have no interest in gossip or bullshit, hypocrisy, judgmental attitudes, or the things that are said that would never be said face to face. If you are looking for the person who is intentionally and mean-spiritedly spreading any of it, you need to take another look at your friend list because it wasn't me. If you're looking to spread it, look somewhere else because I don't want to hear it. If you want to unfriend me, unfriend me. There's a good chance I won't even notice until someone points it out because I have better things to do than look around and see who wants to be my friend today. I have more serious things to worry about than if you like me. If you don't want to be my friend, well, *deep breath*, it'll be hard... but I'm sure I'll survive.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have things to do. Thank you, and have a good day.


  1. omg... love it... I say the end line all the time... along with my usual: unfriend me, hide me, talk about me, judge me, block me... oh please do, and save me the trouble of having to do it to you... LOL... with my life as full and busy as it is (i have 3 kids 2 with autism), the last thing i need is drama... i must say your post is very refreshing... thanks.