Saturday, November 2, 2013

Rage Against The Wrong School.

I don't think I was too clear in the last post about where my rage is directed.

Alex's school makes mistakes. I rage. They work with me. We're good. (at least, from my point of view. I'm not sure if they get over it as quickly. one person still wants to talk. not looking forward to that, but 'own your actions,' right?) My tendency to lash out when they step over my invisible lines doesn't come from their actions, alone. Unfortunately for them, they are suffering the backlash that comes from the regular school.

Alex's OT is perfectly willing to work with me. Once I stated clearly why I was offended and asserted my need to be involved in the process and my need to have real information, she was more than willing to really talk to me.

I guess I can't blame them for their assumption that I, as the parent, would be ok with sketchy details and minimal information because I'm starting to learn that a lot of parents aren't demanding details, and not just on the IEPs. They are so busy with their lives, so trusting of the schools to do what's right, that they don't want to be involved or don't know how to do it. Yes, I know that's a blanket statement and not true for everyone but all these years that I couldn't do it, plus what I'm seeing in the schools now that I actually have a chance to show up leads me to believe it's true for more than some. Everyone has their reasons, and I'm not saying they're wrong.

Alex's IEP meeting is November 7th. Goofy's Psychological Evaluation is November 11th.

After Goofy's Psychological Evaluation, I have to request evaluation for SSD services. again.

Goofy's school psychologist is driving me mad.

Every time I see him, he's all, do you need the procedural safeguards? and then he's pushy about it and looking at me like I'm insane when I tell him I don't need them, like he's trying to tell me something, you know? I don't need a copy of the procedural safeguards because, aside from the copy I just gave Alex's principal, I have 3 more sitting right here on my desk. Two of them are well used, highlighted, sticky noted copies of our rights. ...but what is he wanting me to see? What am I missing?

I go through and I read, I mark, I google, I print up articles, I make notes, and I get MAD.

I've read the procedural safeguards every year since I received my first copy when Alex was 3 years old but I never understood them until Google, Wrightslaw, nichcy. Knowing your rights and understanding your rights are 2 different things. I'm still learning and the more I find, the angrier I get. So angry until I get so tired. beat down, outnumbered, worn out. Fighting a fight that I can't win.

Now I have a new question to find the answer to. Alex's IEP won't need a parent attachment because we made new goals and we will figure out at the meeting how to get consult minutes, hopefully without taking any direct minutes. She can have the social worker's 15 minutes per week if time is an issue. What does Alex need with a social worker right now? But Goofy's will.

If IDEA does not require a parent's signature on the IEP, and I can't figure out for sure if Missouri does, how can I take the IEP home to look over it and see if I need to ask for something or write a parent attachment? Where do I make a notation about a parent attachment so they can't just throw it in the trash? How can I note my objections?

Funny, Alex has his own advocate provided by the state- just a phone call away- for free and I don't need them, while Goofy desperately needs one but doesn't have autism so doesn't qualify for Alex's services.

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