Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Physician, heal thyself! Alex is fine.

I got a phone call the other day from a family member that I hardly ever hear from. At first I was angry. So angry. I've calmed down a bit and am shaking my head more than wanting to bash their face in with my phone and encourage them to pray for perfection.

I think you all jinxed me. I hear about all of these things happening to you and I'm all, "huh. that's never happened to us." and all of a sudden, I'm talking in the past 6 months or less, I've been Rain Man'd, Carly'd (yes, I know it's not a verb, it's also not an insult. There's nothing wrong with Carly being awesome but Carly is Carly, Alex is Alex. He shouldn't have to strive to be someone else.) Temple Grandin'd, Jenny McCarthy'd... you name it, someone has said it. At first it was funny. I actually laughed at the person who asked me if Alex was like Rain Man and then went to some friends and laughed even harder. Then it started to get old.

As of 4 days ago, I'm not laughing.

I've had people ask before to pray for Alex. To pray that he's healed and blahblahblah. Of course we'll take the prayers. What do prayers hurt? Why not ask? If you don't dare to ask, the answer is always no. Healing? Pfft, whatever. but there are other things Alex could use. A better ability to communicate, a better understanding of danger... you know, useful things. So, yeah, pray away and thank you for it but when the answer is no, I think there's a reason. When the answer is no, I think Alex is as Alex is meant to be and I'm ok with that.

This phone call, however, did not stop at the power of prayer.

This phone call went into bio-med which would have been fine if it could have been left at "no, thank you. I have faith that Alex is the way he was intended to be." but, no. It goes on into how Alex could be perfect because there were plenty of defective people who were born that way who were made perfect by this treatment and I shouldn't ever give up. I should never accept Alex as he is because that is giving up when the combination of Jesus and science can make him perfect.

and this is where I get angry.

Even now, I'm not sure how to respond to that without anger. I will ask,

who are you to decide what is perfect? Who are you to question what the Lord has made? What gives you the right to judge another person as lacking or inferior? Especially a person you have never laid eyes on. What makes your life so perfect that everyone else must measure up? You condemn the churches, declaring them to be unholy for not accepting my children and then state yourself that my son is not good enough as he is. "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

Alex is perfect just as he is. Accepting my son for who he is is not giving up on him. It's called loving him unconditionally. Jesus said, " one another, just as I have loved you."

He also said, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean." You told me that reading my bible was not enough. You said that I needed to assemble with other Christians to be able to live a holy life. I'm not sure I'm the one who needs the advice on "holy" living.

I never claimed to be a Christian, I'm just a sinner who loves the Lord. I'd rather be a deeply flawed disciple than a Pharisee with pretensions of superior sanctity. If that's not good enough for you, I don't know what to tell you. We are fine. We don't need your "perfection."


  1. Alex is Alex. I will pray for his increased ability to communicate, whether by speech, sign, or technology. I will pray that he feels safe, accepted and LOVED by those who matter in his life. I pray for continued strength for you to stay out of prison for beating incredibly stupid, offensive people. <3

  2. This hits some anger places in me. I have had family and church members (at an old church that we stopped going to after several instances of me being told that MY sin caused Daniel's Autism, (short version) anyway...) say such things to me. It is so upsetting, I wanted to yell, "You mean perfect like you? No thanks!" Urg!

    I got really offended when a family member told me that "coconut oil (or milk) would cure Daniel of Autism" and that I should try that. They saw it on a Christian show, really? I do not mean to rant - sorry, it strikes a nerve. :-)

    I am sorry you went through this people do not understand what they are saying. It is unfortunate that they cannot recognize how hurtful and harmful those words are.

    Alex is Alex, perfectly Alex.

    1. LOL, rant away! I love not being the only one ;) Thank you!

  3. wow...Did you tell them God doesn't make mistakes? Alex is perfect ;).

    1. LOL, I wish ;) No, I bit my tongue out of respect :)

  4. So I am ready to hop in my van and drive east! I have a million bible verses running through my head right now but the one that is screaming the loudest is judge not lest you be judged, or how about with the same measure you judge on earth so will it be with our father in heaven.

    God says he knit Alex in your womb, that he numbered every hair hair on his precious little head, that he is fearfully and WONDERFULLY MADE. God doesn't make mistakes or "defects"! Alex is created in the image of God himself, he doesn't have the defects of hate, jealousy or a misguided tounge. He will not have to ask for forgiveness at the end of this day for tresspases he has committed against his fellow man, but she she sure will. Oh Mac I am so angry for you right now. This is why people think that Christians are hypocritical, ignorant sheep. It just makes my blood boil.

  5. I've never had anyone say this to me, which is weird considering we live in the South. I don't even know how I would respond to that, either! Yuck.