Sunday, October 27, 2013

Alex's Sister Trouble.

Alex loves his brothers. His brothers can do no wrong. He loves when his brothers hang out in his room with him.

He adores his niece. She is just too adorable to object to. even when she eats his Fruit Loops or sits in his spot on the bunk bed stairs, watching his channel.

His sister, on the other hand... that girl pisses him off.

Last night, his mommy and sister came visiting. The kids were running around doing whatever, everyone happy to be crazy. Alex sat at the table with his mama and his mommy, enjoying the company, chatting and chattering.

Until he went to check on his bedroom to make sure it was still safe and came back angry, ranting about *jibber jabber* and "MAD.  MAD. MAD." and "NOW." and "don't want it." and I couldn't understand hardly anything he was saying but I totally understood that he was MAD.

We tried for several minutes to offer him everything we could think of, trying to figure out exactly why he was mad.... until his mommy asked if he was mad that his sister was in his room. That's when Alex started trying to yank her out of her seat to go to his room and get that sister out of there and when she looked at me for help, he came to me, pulling and yelling and insisting I do something about it.

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh. Sibling issues are just so typical ;)

Alex's mommy's feelings are hurt that Alex so severely dislikes his sister but she wasn't around when my sister resented the hell out of my baby sister for being born or Thing1's violent objection to my boys being in his house or the trouble I'm having now with Goofy and the girl. Then there are the normal fights between Thing1 and Thing2, then Things 1&2 and Walter. Then Thing2 & Walter and Goofy and now Walter & Goofy and the girl. The younger sibling, more times than not, is a pest. and less times than would be average, is considered an intruder. someone who is invading their life and taking over everything that was rightfully theirs. Alex's sister is an intruder. a thief. She stole his other set of parents and the life he had with them and now... she's in. his. bedroom.  with his things! and she's touching them. He is MAD.

I understand his feelings and I do want to respect his wishes and his space but I found with my own siblings and Alex's brothers that any amount of defending or validating the feelings translates to encouraging the behavior and the feelings of resentment. I can't do that. Eventually, he's going to have to accept that his sister is his sister. for better or worse, the sister is here to stay and he's just going to have to get used to it.

The reasons for Alex's feelings are perfectly legitimate but it's not his sister's fault, it's their father's.

I'm not sure I handled it "correctly" but I handled it the way I do his brothers. I told him to knock his shit off, the sister was FINE. If everyone else can be in his room, so can she. and then I told him to get over it and go watch TV somewhere else. and then I prayed he wouldn't paint every single one of his toys like he did when she touched them last Christmas.

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