Somewhere between painting herself with my chap stick, ripping apart the seal of my travel coffee cup, and mixing my entire container of coffee with sippy cup drips of water and papaw's melted ice from the night before...
|True story, I couldn't make this crap up.|
Yesterday was Monday, that means Date Day with my husband. Him with his planning-challenged self gets us to the restaurant 20 minutes before they open.
Perfect! I have 20 minutes to use his phone to google the doctor's number and make an appointment for Alex.
...19 minutes later, I'm growling at the phone that I don't want to "call", I just want the effing number! 30 seconds after that, my husband is reading me the number as I re-program it into my phone and hit dial.
We're sitting at our table when the lady comes back on the line...
Remember our doctor moved to a new office? with new staff? and I hate new people? ok, carry on.
...I tell her I need to make an appointment for Alex.
Her: Ok, and what do you need an appointment for?
Me: For Alex.
Her: Ok, but what will he be seen for?
Me: Oh, his nose is running.
Her: *beat of confused silence* *hesitantly continues* Ok, and how old is he?
Her: *more than a beat of silence* Um...
and this is where I realize that I just made a doctor's appointment for an 11 year old because he had a runny nose. I swear, this woman must be a saint or something the way she masterfully handled my complete bungling of the conversation. I can only imagine what was going through her head.
Once I explained non-verbal, severe autism, history of ear infections, etc, she was more than happy to make the appointment. Except, our doctor wasn't available. With the new staff and additional doctors, he also got a nurse practitioner. I don't like it, but whatever. Gotta do what you gotta do to get stuff done, right?
We get to the office and we're finally called back. One of the first places we always stop is the scale, and the question we get every time in this office is, "can he stand?" pfft, yeah, he can stand the hell out of some crap! "Yes." This one kind of freezes and gets this look. mhmm. ok.
(judge me, I don't even care, it was worth it!)
So, I help get his weight and height, and we continue on to the exam room where I let him go. He bounced, he stimmed, he squeaked, he climbed, he smacked the blinds around, and tried to run out the door. He threw his cup, he threw his toys, he repeatedly asked for goodbye. I constantly blocked and redirected but he was not happy and determined to let everyone know it.
And by the time we left, no one looked twice as we silently and calmly rolled out of the office.