This conversation actually happened...
There are 5 cats at the park. 2 more cats join them. How many cats are there in all?
Look, I drew 5 cats. Look. right there. How many cats are there? Yes, they are cats. How many? Fine. How many? Good. where does that number go? good. what goes there? Good, draw 2 more cats. That's good enough, draw the 2nd cat. No, just the head. ok, it's good, draw the 2nd cat. Ok, that's good, now how many are there? leave the cat alone. No, stop drawing cats. No! it doesn't need whiskers! STOP drawing cats and count them. STOP WITH THE FREAKING CATS!!!
and this note was actually written...
Dear Mrs. Teacher,
We were not able to read tonight because when I went to the library today, I thought Fly Guy would be a great pick because he used to have a "pet fly." I was informed that his imaginary friend (the fly) was no longer around because Goofy killed him. He no longer likes flies which is why he ONLY reads cat books (which I did know). I will go back to the library tomorrow and get some damned cat books so we can make up the time this weekend.
an utter failure as a parent