Wednesday, August 7, 2013

School induced insomnia and the anger that comes with stupid decisions...

It's another one of those 2 AMs. can't sleep because there's too much on my mind.

Funny, I expected the Goofy one to be the one I lost sleep over this year. Instead, I've already talked to his principal, heard back from his teacher, and am confident that we have a solid plan that will work. Alex, on the other hand.... *sigh*

I know I said that I would give his principal a chance, that I would stop and breathe and try to understand but I'm nothing if not fickle, ya know. Laying in my bed, tossing and turning, tormented by the past, taunted by the future... it dawns on me that that's just stupid.

Alex has been in this school for 2 years. 2 years.

Teacher #1- I don't know why Alex was pulled out of her class 1/2 way through the year and based on what's coming, I don't know that I could handle the real answer because Alex is so not independent. After he moved, he went back for a day and this...

all of you who guessed ringworm? Wrong. Bite mark.
and the staff is shocked. They didn't see it happen. 
Teacher #2- was amazing. but even so, Alex was attacked on the way back from recess. His 9 year old body battered, his flesh torn, his heart broken by a teenager in the middle of a meltdown.
Teacher #3- Summer school. 3 weeks, 4 days/week, from 8am-12pm. Didn't realize it was her job to supervise the staff in her room. Alex came home without a diaper because the aide said he thought Alex could change himself.
Teacher #4- His behaviors were out of control, according to them. His dropping to the floor making him a danger to himself and staff as they tried to catch him...a BIP no-no. The solution was not to follow the behavior intervention plan but to use a gait belt and not take no for an answer until they pushed and pushed until I went up there to show them exactly why a gait belt was inappropriate and they'd do much better following the interventions listed in his plan... and his behaviors miraculously disappeared overnight.
Teacher #4 part 2- his aide vanished halfway through the year. and then this...
The oh, so professional answer to this one?
"We don't know."
Why is it again that I need to just breathe? To relax? To trust these trained and highly qualified people to do their jobs? or the person who chooses which of these trained and highly qualified people to team with my defenseless, non-verbal child? and, this makes sense... how?
I have a right to be angry.
The constant change in staff puts Alex in an extremely vulnerable position. The constant changing of staff is causing an increase in undesirable behaviors at school and at home for the several months it takes Alex to adjust. He doesn't know them. They don't know him. This limits his already severely limited ability to communicate his wants and needs. They do not know him- his patterns, his behaviors, how to read him... which increases the undesirable behavior because all behavior is communication, remember?  
The constant changing of staff is detrimental to Alex's ability to make real progress. Alex is not making progress. He's regressing with the change and then making progress only as far as he was at the end of the last year.
I hear there's an autism-specific school in our district. maybe it's time to consider a change in placement.


  1. (((hugs))) mama! I would be worried!!! Personally, I would be looking into a change in placement. He is your child, YOU know what's best <3

  2. It hurts my heart to see those pics, and to know that all the involvement and effort you have put in is not helping to resolve the problems. You and Alex deserve so much better than excuses and broken promises.

  3. It's heartbreaking to see our kids go through this. A friend of mine, recently had a long battle with her daughters school. I went to IEP meetings with her to show them they were way out of line. The last straw ended with her daughter in the ER due to injuries inflicted by staff, that they couldn't explain. She was told to seek legal action but can't afford to do so, luckily we found an autism specific school and she was just accepted there. Hopefully you can find a safe environment for him. With my son starting school this year, I fear a lot based on stories I have heard, Typical parents and family members just don't get why we have to worry so much. Hang in there Mama!

  4. *HUG!** Similar story here. My kiddo is non-verbal and came home with a huge bite mark on his chest... which of course the school couldnt explain... Then he fell on the play ground and BROKE HIS COLLAR BONE... and yup.. NO ONE HELPED!! NO ONE MENTIONED IT TO ME, DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE FELL TILL 7pm AND WHICH WE RAN HIM TO THE ER TO FIND OUT THAT HE BROKE HIS COLLAR BONE.. .AND OF COURSE... THE SCHOOL """DIDNT KNOW"""" IT WAS THAT SERIOUS BECAUSE HE WAS JUST CRYING UNCONTROLABLE! WTF! *** IM SO UPSET WITH YOU JUST REMEMBER THE LAST FEW YEARS OF SCHOOL. Kiddo is in 1st grade now, with an AMAZING teacher, so this year is the 1st time IM NOT WORRIED...

    My heart goes out to you and your kiddo.. .i read all your blogs. Thanks for keeping us informed! We totally feel your struggles!

  5. You and only YOU know what is best for your child and if you don't have the confidence in the administrators to have the best interest of your child at first thought then you have every right to I said before, I'm a fly off the handles type of person myself and sometimes for good reason...this is one of them and if you feel like placement change is necessary - then its worth looking into. Its not worth another day of Alex and the unknown - he has enough to deal with, school shouldn't be a stressor - for you or him.

  6. It breaks my heart to see these pictures of Alex. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's so frustrating when the school decides not to do what works, but what works best for them or is easier at the moment or just ignore the BIP. I hope this school year is better and either he gets a good teacher or you are able to get him into a school where they will meet his needs better. You are an amazing mom and advocate ((hugs))

  7. I wish I could teach him. I would love him to pieces. Time to move on, maybe?

  8. (((Hugs))) I'm so sorry. Alex should not have to endure that. I would be worried too. Maybe you should consider other options for him.