Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Downtime. Or: Tuesdays suck.

Well, that didn't take long. Tuesday. I hate Tuesday.

I was going to write some sappy post on how wonderful things went last night by switching supper and homework, giving the biggest of the little hellpups time to whatever and get a full belly before attempting homework...

In all my years of helping with homework,
I never thought I'd see the day I would cry "tears of joy"
(to quote my Goofy one) that tonight's homework is math.

No questioning it, I'm just going to be happy and send up a prayer of thanks :D 

But this morning started with oversleeping (kinda) and missing shoes. it went down from there.

Tuesdays are empty for me 'n' the girl on purpose. We need some down time, man! We can't just go-go-go and never relax. So, I thought I would skip the girl's shower this morning and we would do baths after the boys were in school.

My alarm went off and I fell back into the snooze trap. 6:30, the girl starts hollering or who knows how long I would have stayed there.

I stumbled blindly to the bathroom and said forget it! I dumped some liquid soap in the tub and started running water. I went for my coffee, passing the Goofy one on the way. I directed him to strip down, get in, and wash his damned self. He objected. I objected to his objection. He objected to me objecting his objection. Fine. Drag your feet. take a cold bath. it won't bother me, either way- you are getting in that tub. Next thing... he's stripped down, in the tub, and not washing his damned self. I'm calling that a win.

I changed the girl, put her PJs back on, added some socks and shoes and a semi-firm warning that if she takes them off, she won't go outside with me for Alex's bus.

I went and poured cereal and cups of milk. I gave the girl hers and set Goofy's on the table before going to put his clothes on my bed so he could dress his damned self. aaaaaand, there are no shoes. DANGIT! This is where I hear a plunk and a splash from the kitchen.

I go to the kitchen to investigate and find the girl standing beside Goofy's chair looking all, "oooooo, somebody's in trouble" and "wasn't me." while the Goofy Child's cup is laying in his chair in a puddle of milk, with milk all over the floor and the refrigerator.

I shoo the girl to her own, mop up the mess and pour another cup. I get the Goofy One out of the tub and direct him to dress his damned self and find his shoes. Looking for his shoes, he lost his shirt. Looking for his shirt, he got distracted by "shark." redirected to "shirt," he must have heard "shark." Told to forget the effing shark, he found his shirt. Several minutes later, he's standing in the kitchen: shirt, shorts, one sock. and I yelled.

Mid-bathing Alex, I realize Walter is missing. at 7:15. 30 minutes before his bus. I leave Alex to play while I go search for his brother and pass the girl... minus shoes and socks. I reminded her of the rules and suggested she get her socks and shoes on if she planned on going outside with me. she didn't. so she missed Alex's bus. and she was mad. so she took all of her clothes off.

After Walter and Alex left, I re-dressed her and told her if she planned on going outside wih me to put the Goofy One on the bus, she better leave them on. and she did. Thank God.

Then while I was writing this, she found a cup of water and dumped it on Goofy's bed so she could lick it. and I'm wondering if I am going to survive this "downtime."


  1. Seems like the only reasonable thing left for you to do is go back to bed!! That'll teach Tuesday...

  2. I ADORE your blog because you're one of the few people I know whose life is more complicated and hilarious than mine. KUDOS to you, supermom. Downtime bites the big one. And never leave drinks in reach of anyone short. Everytime my in laws come to visit, they leave their water on the dining room table--- they walk away, I move it to the kitchen (beyond a gate). They climb over the gate, cursing the gate, and move it back to the table. I move it back to the kitchen as soon as they walk away from it again. I can't stand spilled anything and leaving a drink on a table is just an invitation to mayhem. :)

  3. I hate Tuesdays, and Mondays, and pretty much any day that ends in y because something is always bound to happen. I prefer bed time - yes, that I prefer.