Friday, June 28, 2013

I'm ok!

It's been several days since I posted so I thought I should let you know I haven't been abducted by aliens or taken hostage by the wild beasts that live here. Nope. nothing bad, nothing big. just the same ol' same ol' kids gone wild. herding cats and such.

I have been a Raging B this week. Partially the curse of being a woman and partially the curse of being a woman with too danged many kids underfoot. ...and in my bed. Underfoot I can handle... in my bed, not so much.

I sleep alone, yeah
With nobody else
I sleep alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know when I sleep alone
I prefer to be by myself

Sleep Deprivation Diaries is my new hero. I don't know how she does it. Her title isn't just some autism stereotype used to be humorous or to exaggerate the pain in the ass part of autism, she is really, truly sleep deprived every. day. since 2 of her 3 kids view sleep as a dirty word. and here I am whining about a single week.

That being said, let's get on with the whining and sweet revenge. 7 1/2 years ago, I kicked Walter and Alex out of my twin sized bed so they wouldn't kill their unborn brother with their mule kicks. Once I got a taste of sleeping alone, I vowed to never sleep with another kid. ever.

I sleep alone, yeah
With nobody else
I sleep alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know when I sleep alone
I prefer to be by myself

Then along came my husband, who plopped the Goofy Child right between us. Don't. do. that. No kids in my bed. ever. You don't even know the trouble you're inviting. Guess who won? Yeah.

6 years later, I get the Goofy One out. mostly. and it's just me and my husband.

The only one who will sleep with me
Is my dear Old Husband
And we sleep alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I sleep alone
I prefer to be by myself

and then comes the Grandbaby. You can see where this is going, right? "Don't. even. think. it." I say. "No. absolutely not. I sleep alone." We went out and got fuzzy purple girl bedding so she could sleep in her own damned bed. Yeah. guess where that fuzzy purple girl bedding is spending it's nights... mhmm. with tiny feet planted in my back.

We had a couple of nights of that and by the time the girl goes home, I'm pretty cranky and looking forward to a full night's sleep. I get in bed, all comfy in my fresh PJs and freshly made bed and quietly drift off to pure bliss... alone. with just my husband on one side and cat on the other... until I'm rudely yanked back at 1am because Thing2's girlfriend's ride home ditched her. My husband has to be up in 2 hours for work, so I'm cussing a blue streak as I yank on my jacket and shoes and throw Thin2 my keys. 3am, I'm back in bed cursing the need to go to Story Time with the Goofy One's reading trouble and Alex being excited that I told him we were going goodbye to the library in the morning.

That evening, my husband reminds me that the grandbaby is staying the night and doesn't understand why that would upset me, I'm happy to explain. So, when he left for work, he scooted the grandbaby into his spot so she wasn't right up against me. When my alarm went off, she was still sound asleep and so was Alex so I shut the alarm off and went back to sleep... until my husband called. waking her up. and she woke Alex up. Not. funny.

Later, the Good Lord smiled down on me and flashed some good luck my way. I had just gotten off the phone with my husband who gave me an estimated time that he would be home when the doorbell rang. I gave the man selling magazines a time to come back and talk to my husband about it.

When my husband came in from his chat, he shot me an irritated look, "I don't know why you would do that." I smiled at him, "Call me before 8am again."

and then I got a full night's sleep and my husband hasn't called me yet this morning :)



6 comments:

  1. You have a finely honed sense of justice. I want to be like you when I grow up.

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    1. *giggle* "justice." I'm like Batman.

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  2. I sleep alone... Cuz my wife snores...I sleep alone... She rattles doors .. And so on and so on...etc. love it! I'm familiar with the raging b mode... My wife's in the hot flash stage! Lol

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    1. LOL! Rich, you are awesome! I love reading your comments because I never know what you will say but I know when I get done reading, I will be smiling (or laughing) Thank you, sir!

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