Thursday, June 20, 2013

A day in the life...

I'm sitting here trying to decide if I am going to publish the post from yesterday but I'm still not sure and I have something even better to tell you about anyway. Heathens. feral children. Rosemary's Babies. The Goofy child is off his meds. I told you this. Well, I decided we were going to story time anyway. Shenanigans. The Goofy one was all over the place. rolling here, dancing there. the usual. I was sitting by Alex when I noticed the inside of his right ear was red. We get out o the library and I make phone calls. Alex has a doctor's appointment in an hour. great. awesome. I tried to get a babysitter because I really did not want to take the Goofy One with me. It didn't happen.

We get to the new doctor's office (new office, same lovely man) and it's amazing. I love it. no dark stairwell. Alex can use his stroller, he loves his stroller, it keeps him calm. We walk in, walk back to get weighed and I help Alex step on the scale. This is one of those fancy scales where you have to stand still for so long and then it beeps when it gets the true weight? Yeah, Alex rocks. Well, he rocks as in he's awesome, but he also rocks. No standing still. it took forever and I was focused on him so I didn't notice when the Goofy One grabbed his stroller and took off running down the hall. until he started screaming that he was running down the hall with the stroller.

By the time we get into the room, I'm pretty frustrated with the Goofy One. I'm answering the normal doctor's visit questions while asking him to stop it, get down, don't touch that, don't stand on their furniture, get down, don't. You don't ring their decorations like a doorbell, inside voice, quiet down, get out of the window, I swear if you lick that... Then the nurse had to get vitals. and she's putting the stethoscope too high on Alex's chest. as in, too close to his mouth. Alex, don't lick her. You can't lick strangers, buddy. Don't lick her. get your mouth off. Luckily, she had a pretty good sense of humor.

When it came time for her to leave the room, she decided to take the Goofy one with her to look for stickers. I'm nervous but grateful. I did warn her that he runs off but not the warning that I've already lost him several times in the past 2 hours. I wanted her to pay attention, not change her mind ;) That trip didn't last long enough, lol, he was back in time for the exam.

The doctor is great. I love him. Alex does not have an ear infection, thank God. and that's probably not some weird, dangerous bug bite on his finger, it looks like another place that's healing from falling on the treadmill. He'll have to look up what the wandering dx in the DSM does but he's pretty sure there's no cure for wandering. When the Goofy one gets his reading screening in August, I need to take the results to him and we'll figure out what to do. 10 minutes. 10 minutes and all of my questions are answered, my kid is fine, and I'm getting the Goofy Child out of there before he knocks the building down or something. I cannot stress how much I love that man.

We came home and I put Alex in his room for a break so he could be alone with nobody talking to him, nobody touching him or telling him to do things. I went to smoke and came back to start cleaning up and saw an empty hamster cage. "Where is the hamster!?" Goofy hollars back, "He's in my room!" Uhg. I crawled his room, the hall, the bathroom, the kitchen, the entry way, the living room... nothing. I go to Alex's room and he sees the best horsey ride ever. still no hamster. The boys found him in my room.

The first fight this morning? I hear two sets of feet pounding up the stairs, Walter shouting threats and Goofy laughing, "It's an action figure!" They hit the top of the stairs and I see Goofy with the hamster, holding him as high as he can in one hand, as if Walter's not taller than he is, with Walter hot on his heels screaming at Goofy to give it back! They see me and Goofy comes running, Walter cries, "MOM! He's putting him in the holes in the pool table!" I am not laughing. so not laughing. well, maybe a little ;)


  1. no words other than, how do you keep a straight face over a hamster in the pool pockets :)

    1. I bend down to kiss the hamster's head.

  2. at least you didn't have to tear apart the pool table. did you see the episode of friends where Joey and Chandler were thinking about tearing apart the foozball table to get to baby chick and baby duck? They just COULDN'T. So Monica reached for the hammer and said "I CAN! GIMME!" :) ahhhhh a hamster all over your house leaving his little presents and possibly getting stepped on. JUST what you need. :) In a house like yours I'd suggest the hamster stay behind a locked door and be played with under strict adult supervision only. lol. As for the doc appt, I've TOTALLY been there and I'm laughing right with you--- stop, get down, don't touch that, don't lick her.... hah!

  3. The hamster was probably in Heaven! "OMG, no more damn treadmill, I can run straight, hide from roaming hands, and have a nice dark place to sleep. Just gotta be careful of those idiots shooting balls in the holes!" Doctors seem to have exceptional patience with kids (of course, they're getting paid well for it). Good post!

  4. LOL, your family is awesome and so are you. and that poor hamster :-)

  5. I was laughing at you not laughing....and oh boy!! yeah, I'm still laughing - mental image of the hamster in the holes...glad your doc is a good one - very hard to come by.