Friday, March 1, 2013

Time Marches On

Yesterday, a friend asked me where I've been and... I... don't know. Somewhere. around here, I think. February is kind of a blur but I'm pretty sure I spent a significant amount of time being around. but then, all of a sudden, we're like seconds away from March. March is going to be a pretty busy month for me. an emotional roller coaster. At first, looking at what is going on for the month, I felt the need to fall to my knees and scream at the sky, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me!?" and dissolve into a puddle of tears, mourning my lot in life. But then I saw something that flipped that frown upside down...

 
A Legion for Liam


and just like that... Psht. I got this. I just need to adjust my thinking. I'm like SuperMom or something, right? (shush it. let me have this one.) I can handle anything that comes along. Partially because my memory sucks (see loss of February above) and once something's off my list, it's forgotten so it takes quite a bit for the stress to add up. or, for me to notice.

First is Alex's Sister's birthday party March 4th. I still have to tell my husband we're doing cake and decorations but for the rest of the hours left in month of February, I'm making the most of my (if I must say so myself,) most impressive skill- procrastination. eh, eventually. oh, crap. Is that Monday? uhg.

The first appointment is the 5th. Alex's sister has an appointment with Alex's Optometrist. This one won't be too bad because all I'm doing is driving. Mommy can deal with the rest because, well, as bad as it may sound, it's not my kid so I don't have to take on the baggage that goes with a specialist appointment. *woot* for that.

The boys all have spring break. 2 different weeks of spring break. Kids are home. eh, roll with it. ya know? Then there are the other minor inconveniences ;) like time change (10th), Spread the Word to End the Word Day (6th)(that would be the R-word), a coming out party of some sort for NightFood, and Easter (31st).

March 29th is Alex's IEP meeting. I'm not so worried about that either because... just whatever. I'm reading his things, I have my list of goals ready and printed up, I sent them a copy to work in whatever they want to work in, (as long as at least some of my things are on the list or better ones, I'm cool with whatever they come up with.) Alex's school social worker is going with me, but... I'm not really worried. I have concerns, of course, because I don't know what to expect from this team but I don't see any big problems unless they push summer school. and that will be a fight to the death. mark my words. not gonna happen. Every problem we've had this year is on the list already so there's nothing left for me to do there. That could change after the 14th, though, when I'm free to focus only on Alex. Once my attention is focused, no promises. Sorry, that's just the way it goes.

The 14th is where all of my emotional energy is focused right now. The Goofy Child's Optometrist appointment. I'm already frustrated. annoyed. in a dangerous mood, looking for a fight because I'm going into this one already expecting a fight. expecting to hear, "oh, he's fine." or "all kids do that." and I already want to rage at the doc for being wrong because he's not fine and I know it. I'm going in armed with every piece of paper that child has brought home this year, with behavior reports, and evaluation reports that show there is something vision related going on there but even so, I feel like I'm in one of those dreams where it doesn't matter how loud you scream- no one will hear you. I feel like it doesn't matter what I have as "proof" that there is something there, it won't be enough and no one can figure this child out. I've already had one consult type appointment with the Goofy one's pediatrician this week that doesn't make this next one look too promising at all. There was discussion and warnings of not getting my hopes up. Probably, the Goofy one won't be getting help any time soon. Even if he does need it. because that's not how this works. on the up-side, part of the Goofy one's reading trouble could be the focus part of ADHD. We upped his meds again so we'll see.

But, whatever. no worries. I got this. I'm like ... jammin', man. Eye of the Tiger style. (Thanks, MamaFry! Perfect IEP/anti-diagnosis song!) and that is it! I'm pumped! Not only can I take on this entire month and take down every single person that steps in my way, I could probably take over the world!!! I feel like WWE's Ryback standing in center ring, daring my next opponent to step forward with the whole crowd chanting with me, "Feed. me. more! Feed. me. more! Feed.. me.. MORE!"


...and then I get the yellow envelope in Goofy's backpack. aw, hell. This can't be good. and it's not. "Future conference will be scheduled the third week of March." and as I'm laying in the floor, raging at the sky, bathed in my tears, wrapped in the cold comfort of self pity... I wonder if Alex's school social worker would want to go with me...?  

10 comments:

  1. Hang in there Mama! Always here for moral support!!! I too feel overwhelmed with all that's going on in the next few months. Like you my memory is horrible. I can't even remember what day it is half of the time. Don't even get me started on all the damn appt's on the agenda....BREATHE....see, better all already! We can do this, together, even if we are miles apart :D

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    1. Courtney... <3 with you by my side, I can do anything. So, what are we going to do tonight, Brain?

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  2. I have a terrible memory too and I never looked at as having less stress because I don't remember things I'm suppose to be stressed about. That would totally be true if I didn't have some certain person to remind me that I forgot. Sometimes with the strategic use of sticky notes! Ugh! I have total confidence in your kick ass ability!

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    1. LOL! I love the Murph!!!! Sticky notes are classic.

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  3. So glad February is finally behind us! Your March scares me! I hope all will be well and you will get to have the support you would like for all you are doing.

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    1. Yes! Four Sea Stars had a rough February, too! I *know* you can identify with this ;)

      http://four-sea-stars.blogspot.com/2013/02/february-you-need-to-go-away-like-right.html

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  4. Why is March always like that? It's almost like the world is waiting for spring time. And I'm glad February is over. Now all we need is some nice weather.

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  5. A busy few weeks ahead of you. But you got this! You ARE SuperMom after all! Just play Eye of the Tiger a few more times. :)

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    1. LOL! That song is like magic :)

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