Thursday, January 17, 2013

Every mama should be able to brag about her boy.

So, there I was on facebook, are you surprised my story is starting like that? Me too! but I was. and I was following a conversation requesting "ruckus", and yes, ruckus was delivered. Crazy people. so, following the conversation, which is really 10 different conversations in one thread, I saw one comment. at first glance, it's mama bragging about her boy which is awesome, every mama should be able to brag about her boy, but I'm seeing the things being bragged about and... jealousy. because every mama should be able to brag about her boy. and the things they're bragging about, I can't. and in some cases probably never will.

***Now, this was my perception of that particular conversation, going back to see what was going on and to see what had been said, they were not really bragging, even though every mama should be able to brag about her boy. They were in fact reassuring another mom on her feelings.***

So, I'm sad because I have nothing to brag about. Not on that scale. I'm happy that they do, but I'm more sad that I don't. A little later, I'm laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Yes, I spend probably as much time staring at ceilings as I do on facebook. So, I am. and I'm thinking about Alex and I'm sad that I have nothing to brag about. having a bit of a pity party for one.

but... wait a minute. How could I have nothing to brag about? That's horsecrap. Just because he's not getting the big things, making huge strides toward whatever we are striving for, doesn't mean he's not doing things worthy of being bragged about. He even has new skills. which would be progress.

  • He now raises his elbow when I lean in for a kiss.
  • He's drinking out of a glass.
  • He pushes my hands away when I try to wash him.
  • He picked up a new echolalic phrase, "don't want it".
  • He's spinning in circles to the music on the radio.
  • He's sticking rubber ducks and teething rings in his mouth.
  • He nods his head "yeah".
  • He turns his face to refuse a bite.
  • He learned to kiss my cheek... kind of. but whatever. I love it.
  • He turns his TV off when he doesn't like the show.
  • He tells me "No." :D
  • He doesn't step on babies. or knock them over by running into them.
  • He lets the lady cut his hair without crying.
  • He's willing to try a built up spoon when I ask- and does pretty well depending on the food.
  • He's learning to stab food with a built up fork- and does pretty well depending on the food.
  • He's not jumping on the couch or the beds.

and that's all within the past year! When I stop comparing his progress to someone else's progress and I see his progress for what it is- his progress- there is no scale. He is, in his own right, a rising star. He's brilliant and beautiful and compared to where we were this time last year, he has made impressive amounts of progress!

Slow moving is still moving. Baby steps forward are still steps forward. Small progress is still progress and, when you look at them in the right way, the small things are really just as big as the big things. No matter how small your big thing is, every mama has something to brag about.


  1. And we celebrate all victories...large and small. Progress is progress!

    Love, the Ruckus-causing-party-girl

  2. Damn straight. I can give examples for my own boy...but I won't. I can brag on my own blog. I can say that he hasn't done all the things on your checklist yet...but Alex has a few years on him, so we shall see.

    1. I can't wait to see what you have to brag about! I'm watching your site like an eagle.

  3. Love it! Some of those things you listed are new in my house, and some Beans hasn't gotten there, yet. I totally get what you mean, though. You have every right to brag, and that's what I love about having blogs, and FB pages. I can go to my page, and say "Beans learned to push a table to high up shelves to get something he wants" and I will get 30 or 40 likes, and a bunch of excited replies, because you are correct. Every mama deserves to brag about her boy to an audience that is genuinely happy for her news.

  4. Sometimes, I think I am more proud, and brag more, about my 'severe' son than my others. My oldest just got an awesome report card. I forgot to tell anyone. But you'd better believe I told the WORLD when his brother kept a pull up dry for half a day! I am very, very proud of both boys, but somehow those 'little' things seem so much bigger when I know how hard my son had to work for them.

    1. LOL! I hear you on that! I'm guilty of the same. at least the kids know we're proud, right?

  5. You have a utensil using, glass drinking, head nodding, cheek kissing boy and should be very proud, since not all mamas can claim those things.

    1. My guilty conscience has me adding a silent FU to your comment :) Sorry. Thank you, I am proud. Some days it's just hard to remember that there is so much to be proud of and that they are big things that should not be taken for granted.

      It's hard to see his progress as progress when he hasn't mastered the skills, he's just starting out but being able to stab one kind of food is a lot further on the road to feeding himself than all of the years he refused to accept a fork in his hand at all. and even if I don't know for sure if he's answering a question or requesting food when he nods his head, communication of any kind is more than I could have hoped for in the past.

      If I were comparing his progress to others' progress as I was last night, you wouldn't be able to see any at all but looking at where he is right now compared to yesterday, it' pretty cool.

  6. It does feel good to be able to brag sometime. I don't think I ever bragged much about my son when he was in school. It is great now that I feel I can brag now about him and do and will. :) When I would go volunteer at his school, the other moms would be bragging about their kids, especially one mom. Her kids were perfect, straight A students who excelled in athletics, academics, you name it and she was very vocal about it. (still is!) When she would ask me how my son was doing all I could say was "good. better this year. good...." What I was really thinking was "At least his F's are higher now. From 20 to 55's. He'll be straight D's pretty soon. Terrific! Yea!" I had the bar set low. I had to, otherwise he would never have made it above the bar and achieved success.

    1. Hey! Bringing that F up from a 2o to a 55 is a BIG deal! and who your son is now, what he's doing- living on his own, going to college... WOO!

      Thank you, Kristy.

  7. Dude, those are awesome and definitely things that you should brag about!!!! Kisses on the cheek and letting people cut his hair without crying is like better than what most children do! Congrats to you mama on being so awesome to your boy and I can't wait to see more of your bragging!! xoxo

  8. Awesome! Love it! Yay for progress :)

  9. I love that you did this. I love it so much :)

  10. Great post! Progress is progress even if it seems small. This is a journey, Mama.