Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Did you ask?


One of the plans that we put into place at the start of the year was that the Goofy child would sit in the front seat behind the bus driver to avoid things like being suspended from the bus for running up and down the aisles screaming his little head off or standing in the seats, hanging his head out the window to feel the wind blow through his hair while he screams into the wind. You know, the kinds of things that had him |this| close to being suspended from the bus the two disastrous weeks he went to Kindergarten last year.

Remember I told you that the quirky little boy at the bus stop is Goofy's man-crush? Well, his man crush is a bit older and a bit more well behaved (maybe he has a mom who knows what the hell she's doing) which means he gets to sit anywhere he wants to sit.

After about the first week, the Goofy child worked up the nerve to ask to sit in the first seat behind the door. Of course, this isn't a problem but the bus driver is boss so, ask him. and he had the choice between either front seat. Then there has been a few times the Goofy child eyed the bus driver while sneaking his sneaky little self to the second row which the bus driver was kind enough to let him think he got away with something while secretly smiling in my direction at his antics.

It wasn't long after that that the bus driver asked me if he had to sit there or if he could sit in other seats. I gave my blessing because, well, his "issues" aren't issue enough to interfere with his daily activities, right? and he's medicated now. and well, you just don't know until you try.

So, the Goofy child was pouting at me this morning. He didn't want to ride the bus because the boy at the bus stop wouldn't sit by him. I don't have to ask if he asked the boy because he asks the boy every day. many times. So I ask, "Why don't you go sit with him?"
"I can't."
"Did you ask the bus driver?"
"Yeah, he said no."
"The bus driver said no?"
"Yeah."
Now, this just doesn't sound right... "Was the bus moving when you asked?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, well, that's why. Once the bus starts moving, you have to stay in your seat. You have to ask before the bus starts moving."
"Oh."
And he's ready to try :)

We get to the bus stop and Goofy asks the boy to sit with him and is answered with silence. This poor boy, I tell you what, Goofy loves him. and he likes Goofy just fine but he's bigger and wants to sit with the big kids. It's a hard decision for him to make because he's pulled in two directions. So, I asked Goofy, "why don't you see if you can sit with him?"
"because he won't let me."
"who won't let you?"
"his friend."
"did you ask?"
"He just won't."
"Well, an attitude like that isn't going to get you anywhere. You can't get what you want if you don't ask for it and you're not going to succeed until you try."

The bus pulls up and I walk up to the door with Goofy so the bus driver can ask anything he wants. The bus driver's looking at me, confused because I don't approach the bus and I'm looking at Goofy, confused because he's heading back to a seat. Then Goofy remembers and stops to lean back and ask the bus driver if he can sit with the boy. The bus driver smiles big and tells him, "If you're good." and the very happy goofy child heads to the middle of the bus.

Is there something you are afraid to ask for? That you are scared to try?

3 comments:

  1. I have told my kids from day one that they will never know what the answer will be if they don't ask. So glad I am not the only one!!

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  2. I'm so glad Goofy was brave enough to ask for what he wanted and is doing better on the bus.

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  3. Aww! I am so glad that with your encouragement he was brave enough to speak up ask and reach out to a friend. I hope he continues to do well on the bus!

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