Saturday, December 15, 2012

My thoughts are with the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting.

I logged off of my computer yesterday heartbroken, confused, and so very thankful that my children were home safe and sound, determined to spend the evening loving the crap out of them.

This morning, I log back in ready to listen. To give you a place to share your thoughts/feelings and to take comfort in each other. and what I find is that the mourning for these children, their teachers, and their principal has turned, for some, into something horrifying. A blame game. with parts of the autism community up in arms that someone would dare blame this on Asperger's or mental illness.


What does it matter? One small word compared to the reality of what happened in that school? This is about a school, a community, 20 children, 6 staff members, and the people who lost them.

4 months ago, these adults were getting their schools and classrooms ready for the magical journey this year would take the kids on. 4 months ago, these parents were buying school supplies, the most awesome backpacks, the best outfits, the coolest shoes ever and their children were excited for the first day of school, some of them the first day of school ever. Just like my Goofy one.

Friday morning, they got up, dressed and left for school. Elementary School. The safest of all schools. That morning, I can see some of these kids laying in Mommy's bed looking at her with their sleepy little eyes and saying in their sleepy little voice, "Mommy, I don't want to go to school today." just the same as my Goofy one did. and I can see the mom replying, "you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play. Hope that bed's comfy because you'll be spending your day there." just the way I did. and now, that mom is wishing her words back. Wishing more than anything that this one morning she had let her sleepy little child stay in that bed.

Some of these kids had siblings. They probably fought that morning about cartoons or toys, clothes, who had the coolest bowl, was served first, the best cereal... they rode the bus and parted ways in the parking lot confident in the fact that in 8 hours they would be home fighting over cartoons or toys, clothes, who had the coolest bowl, was served first, the best snack... and instead, their innocence is gone, their sibling is gone, ripped away from them by an individual who made a decision.

There is not a person in that community that has not been touched this day. There is not a parent in this country who hears the news and doesn't reach for their own child knowing that there is another parent who cannot do the same. That there is a child somewhere who suddenly doesn't have a parent to reach for. As Confessions of an Asperger's Mom said, "The entire country laid in bed last night with the same thought... 20 parents don't have their children to tuck in tonight..." I think of the staff members and I think about the principals at my boys' schools- parents, grandparents, favored by students, not so much favored by students... the teachers- the ones just starting out, the ones who have been teaching for 25 years. I think of them hearing gun fire, looking into the faces of the small children in their care, knowing what's happening, desperate to protect them and not knowing if they can. I think of their families and friends. I think of the people lost, the people who survived and what they are going through.

This is where my thoughts are. On these people.


  1. Thank you again for keeping it real. It was just another day until it wasn't. We have had lock down situations at both of the schools where my kids go. They are scary but have never been more than a car chase in the neighborhood. Yesterday was the last day of school for our kids for 2012 and I am glad to have them with us so we can keep an eye on them through the holidays. Peace from Laughter, Could be the Missing Piece