Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Alex went to Walter's band concert

Yesterday afternoon, I zipped out text messages lining up a babysitter and letting my husband know who was doing what and what time we needed to be where when he text me back, "Do I really have to go? I have stuff to do." or something along those lines with "something" being laundry. I asked him, "Is that a serious question?" to which he replied, "Yes." I didn't bother texting back. I'm not very happy. Remember how uncomfortable the last concert I went to alone was? I do. and I do not want to go alone. So, eenie, meenie, miney, moe... guess who's the lucky one that gets to go!

Yup. Alexander the Great Adventurer. Big D's telling me, "you don't have to take him with you. He can stay here." I'm telling him, "well, I don't want to go by myself." Walter's saying, "Um, he's not going to sit through the whole thing..." *squinty-eyed-pinched-faced-glare* Did I just hear Walter suggest that Alex's disability limit him in the places he should be able to go? Surely not. "Walter," I say as I gesture toward his brother, "is he ever going to play in band?" Walter looks a bit surprised as if he'd never really considered band a privilege or that his brother might want to play in band, "No."  "So, the closest he will ever get...?"  "Oh. Well, she does have a point, Dad." Ok, then.

We get in, get settled and I start handing Alex Fruit Loops to keep him occupied. The bands are warming up and Alex get this bright, wide eyed look, looks straight at me and says all excited, "wiggle wiggle!" "YES! That's good! Walter is going to play music so you can wiggle!"

A lady behind us caught my attention, "Is he autistic?" yup. She nods at her daughter, "so is she." YAY! This is so exciting, as if you don't already know, lol. For 1:88, it sure does seem hard to find people off line who share your life. Her little girl, I tell you what, she is amazing. Her mama was telling me some of the things she's accomplished in her short life (she looks to be Alex's age, maybe a year or so older) and how hard she's worked to get where she's at. While I was talking to her mother, the girl leaned over and asked me what school Alex goes to and responded to my response with her school name. That's big. HUGE. Well, YOU know.

So, the bands are warming up and Alex is all "wiggle, wiggle!" and the lady behind me draws my attention to her girl who is rocking away, hand flapping to the music. A beautiful sight. It's like she was overflowing with joy and just had to express it. That girl made my day.

Toward the end of warm up, Alex started getting antsy. and loud. The mom behind me said, "I hate it when they stare." as she glared at the offenders. Oh, shit. people are staring? at us? I didn't know they did that! Goes to show how well I pay attention to what's going on around us. But, yeah, seems I do hate it when they stare.

Alex threw his teething ring and it slid under the chairs in front of us to where I couldn't get it. A few minutes later a woman notices it and laughs at the guy a few seats over, "Hey, ___, I found your teething ring." The guy laughs and I'm like, "No, that's his." "Oh, it's his?" "yeah." she hands it over and studies Alex while I blushed like crazy and could think of nothing to say. *hangs head in shame* as vocal as I am about where everyone can shove their "age appropriate" and how quickly those words get my blood boiling, and the way I stand in front of Alex always- protecting him, defending him, defying everything and everyone for him... here I am, completely cowed by nothing more than a considering look. I cannot believe I just sat there embarrassed, I'm embarrassed  that I was embarrassed. I hope to God Alex didn't pick up on that.

Alex threw his hippo at the older lady to our left. Ohmygosh, I'msosorry!!!! She smiles at Alex and tells him he's just fine.

He burps really loud, the presumed owner of the teething ring turns around and smiles at him and the mom behind us laughs.

The Jazz Band started their show and Alex was riveted. Until he reached over to pick at the snaps on the older gentleman to our right's jacket and then twist waved his hand close to his eyes enjoying the music. During the Beginner Band, he started to get wiggly. I was trying to keep him occupied with some success, then he farted really loud and the older gentleman to our right put his head down, looked at Alex out of the corner of his eye and tried his damnedest not to laugh out loud.

Next was Walter's band- Concert Band. After about one song, Alex was getting really upset. not just fidgety, wiggly, ants in his pants upset, I mean upset. with the crying face. So I took him out to the hall where he could walk around and stim out loud and still hear the music. and that's where we stayed.

All in all, we had a good time. I learned a lesson or two. Alex had fun. Walter was amazing. A good night.

Do I regret taking Alex? No. Will I be doing it again? Probably not. Not because of the way things went for him but because there are few things that are all about Walter. Very few things that are just the two of us. This band thing, this is Walter's moment to shine. I am happy that even if it's just once Alex got to see his brother play, I am encouraged to find more new things for Alex to try but I'd like to keep Walter's time special to him and only him.

1 comment:

  1. Good for you taking him to a concert. We never take James to Charlotte's anything because it is her special night and he can get really loud and draw the wrong kind of attention to our family. Last year, Charlotte was in the school musical and I knew that James would love it but not the crowds. So I emailed the director and we went to the dress rehearsal. James got to see the play, walk around, stretch out on floor, change seats and see his sister on stage. He LOVED it and the kids in the show loved having us there to give them a chance to have a small audience before opening night. We take him everywhere else we go for exposure but still not big crowded concerts. I guess that will have to get on our list at some point.