Saturday, April 28, 2012

Time to get serious.

I got a message today from the Special Education Advisor asking me to do a guest post. My first reaction was along the lines of Sally Field's Oscar acceptance speech. I text my husband and my best friend so very beyond excited that they chose me to do a guest post! What an honor! What high praise! The secondary reaction was more along the lines of- what!? me? why? How could anything I write possibly measure up to the great things they post? Seriously, have you seen their site? It's awesome! I haven't been very happy with my blog lately, with my writing. It seems to be lacking something. It feels ... lame and unsure, too blah, ya know? So, getting this request while a great honor brought up a few insecurities. Then I realized a truth I have known for a while but let go of for a minute.

If you are not happy, if you do not like your situation, do something about it. It's up to you because there is no one else who can make that decision for you. There is no one else to take the steps necessary to change things. Your future is in your own hands. Do whatever you need to do but you need to do something besides sit around moaning and groaning, lamenting your lot in life.

You don't like your job? Do something about it, get a new one, go back to school. They even offer online courses.
You aren't happy with your kids' behavior? Well, guess who's boss. and the answer is not "them". You cannot control your kids' actions but you can control your reaction. You don't have to be mean or cruel but you can be firm and consistent. You can direct them with love, and that includes the tough love of my house, my rules.
You aren't happy in your marriage? Fix it. Smile at him at least once every day and tell him you love him. See what happens. If it doesn't touch his heart, it will ignite his fear.
You don't like your home? Paint the walls. Buy decorations. Make some curtains. Open a window. Turn on some music. really, music will fix it. music fixes anything.

There are some things that are beyond your control such as living with parents or roommates, but you can change your attitude about it. You don't like how you're being treated? Speak up. Tired of people taking advantage? Don't allow it. Don't want to be walked on? Then get up off the floor. I told my husband from now on when anyone calls me to take their kids, I will swear to high heaven I've been drinking and therefore cannot possibly take responsibility for their kids that day. or the next day for the imaginary hangover. If all else fails, fall back on the smile.

The point is, you make the decisions that determine where your life is going. Whether you decide to decide or decide not to decide, whether you decide to do something about your circumstances or decide to lay down and have a pity party, you and you alone are choosing where you are going from here. The changes you make don't even have to be drastic changes. I decided I didn't like the way things were going, I decided to do something about it, I took a shower, I got dressed, I put on my war paint and I sat down to write. I made the decision to do something. Simple as that.


  1. Amen! By the way you are awesome! Of course they would pick you :)

  2. Homestyle Mama is definitely awesome! I agree with every word. Over the years, I've distanced myself from people who want to gripe about everything not going right for them. Seriously, there are other people/families that have way worse issues than the continuous whiners and those people/families handle it like champs. They make changes. They don't sit around and whine about this or that. That's right -- do something about it.

    Thanks for this!