Tuesday, January 31, 2012

More things that suck... Parent1.

**Clarification... Other Parents are NOT the same as Parent2. Parent2 is waaaaay more involved than Other Parents because Parent2 is right beside me all the way. **

I posted this status on my facebook...

Hmmm... do these kids really think if they keep talking the answer will change? or when parent1 gets to the point where they are punctuating. individual. words. moving onto parent2 will make a difference?

and that got me to thinking- I'm tired of always being parent1. I want to be parent2. That way when they come to me I can say, "Well, what did your dad say?" and the answer won't be "go ask Mac."

It's not just with Big Daddy and the kids either. The other day, Mom was yelling at T.S. to quit climbing on the couch like that. T.S. isn't listening so Mom hollars "DAD!" then she gets an almost visible light bulb and says almost gleefully, "No... MAC!!!" T.S.'s eyes got huge and she's shaking her head no while trying to scramble off of the couch as fast as she could. and the L.D. ... "if you don't ___, I'm telling Mac." works every time.

Not just the little ones, either. The first thing I hear in the replay of any dumb decision is "well, they said, "whatever you do, don't tell Mac!! If you have to tell, tell my dad.""

Thing 1's girl keeps calling me to tattle on him.

and not just my kids either. My sister kept telling her kids if they didn't listen, she was sending them to my house. Got to the point they didn't believe her so she did. for the entire day. as punishment.

My mother called me a few times to tattle on my brother. and more than a few on her husband. Her husband called to tattle on her.

Not just my side of the family either. *sigh* and not just people younger than me. I get phone calls tattling on Mom. yeah. and Big Daddy. mhmm.

Seriously. I am 5'1, 115lbs. My superpowers are time out, confiscating cell phones, grounding and pointing out idiotic behavior. What is so freakin scary about me? How did I become the boogy man? and you'd think as many times as I've told the tattlers what I think of their tattling, they'd stop. uh-uh.

I'm determined... this Grandbaby is going to be different. I refuse to be the bad guy with her. said the exact same thing with T.S. ... Well, if that don't work out, at least I'll always have Alex. Alex likes me. A lot.

But this isn't about what IS, it's about dreams. For 1 month... or week... heck, I'd settle for 1 day...

I want to be the Other Parent.

I want to be the parent who tells parent1 (and kids) how they are doing everything wrong because I would do it so much better, while not doing anything to help them do it right.

I want to be the parent who leaves all of the responsibility to the others while only getting involved whenever I feel like it to the extent I want to.

I want to be like oh, I think I shall go get my kid today to go do whatever sounds fun then get tired of them 10 minutes later and take them home.

I want to be the parent who stays up all hours of the night doing ridiculous and irresponsible things because I don't have to worry about dumb old bed times or insignificant things like school.

I want to to be the parent who calls and annoys the hell out of parent1. just because I can.

I want to be the one who tells the kids how much more I love them and care about their happiness than the "mean" parent who just wants to run their lives and control their every move.

I want to smoke pot. I do. I miss it. a lot.

I want to drink more than 1 beer a week. maybe even go as far as 1 or *gasp* no... 2! every day!!!

I want to wear heels. every day.

I want to get my nails done.

I want enough time in the shower to shave my legs on more than the "special occasions" that require it.

I want to be able to wear nice clothes and not worry about which kid is going to end up exposing things people ought not see.

I want to spend hundreds of dollars on hair products so I don't end up just getting disgusted with the whole head full and just throw it up any which way.

I want to go see friends.

I want to see my family.

I want to agree to a coffee date and mean it. and then go.

I want to go play pool at the local bar.

Are you tired of being the adult? What do you want to do? Dream big, now. This is your vacation, what are you going to do with it?

Monday, January 30, 2012

My Great Sadness

The sobbing emotional mess I should have been after report cards is where I'm at today. I got an email from Alex's teacher last week saying his IEP states he's due for his 3 year evaluation this year but she feels they have all the information they need to meet Alex's educational needs and would like to do a review of existing data instead so they would like for me to waive the evaluations.

Well, stupid move #1- I'm not just going to waive something without getting a second opinion and/or looking into what I'm waiving, because as much as I trust Alex's teacher and know she's not out to screw my kid, I want to know the "risks" of waiving, that he won't miss out on something he really needs. If I trusted her, I should have trusted her, period.

I asked someone, who I know has a lot of experience with educating/advocating for special needs kids. They gave me some really good advice about which tests he truly needs to make sure he gets the best education possible with the most accurate information about Alex documented. I passed on that information to Alex's teacher and asked if we could get this little bit done while waiving the rest, she promised to check on it.

Last night was the WWE Royal Rumble so, no surprise (happens every month) I overslept. I checked my email and saw one from Alex's teacher- "So here's what I've found out so far. I got online this weekend. The information I found is attached. From what I can tell the tests depend on children being able talk so I don't think they'll work for Alex. I'll check with other teachers and see what they use." That started my downward spiral. Stupid move #2- I didn't think to tell the person I asked for advice that Alex was non-verbal, severe, low-functioning autism, I assumed they knew.

After a very hectic murphy-morning, we finally leave to get Alex to school- late. Stupid move #3- All the way to the school I'm feeling disappointed that, yet again, every one else's kid seems to be high functioning autism or Asperger's. I fuckin hate Asperger's sometimes, mainly because it seems to be a slap in the face that my kid will never function on that level. I know Asperger's is hard, I really do- when you guys speak, I do hear you. I don't really envy Asperger's, I think I envy the possibilities where with Alex it seems time and time again I'm "told" there are no possibilities. I'm jealous. Plain and simple. I know better than to compare my kid to anyone else's but I do it anyway. over and over, that's a lesson I can't seem to learn.

We get to school and I told his teacher what had happened- I forgot to add a very important piece of information in my request for advice. She's not ready to drop the whole thing yet, she's not giving up. She's going to talk to other teachers to see if there is something they can do on Alex's level. Like an equivalent or modified version. I explained to her that these tests are the only thing I have to tell me about Alex. They are my only insight into what he can do, where he's at, what he knows. Everything I do with him depends on these tests. My whole world depends on these tests. BUT if looking at the results of the last tests and looking at where he's at now, if there's little or no difference, then there's no point. She said that I know him. I know him better than anything any standardized test could tell me.She said I know my boy- my sweet, sweet boy. and she's right. I do.

I know that there is no point in testing because nothing has changed to warrant further evaluation. Now that *happy dance* report card feels offensive.  It feels like false hope because although he has consistently made progress in every goal throughout this entire year, he has not made enough progress to change anything. and so, I'm a mess.

Big Daddy thinks my "attitude" is because we had to give a cat away because we couldn't take care of him (he's sick and I have my hands full) and yes, that is very sad, I am sad about it but no. It's Alex. The reason I cannot look at anyone is because I don't want them to see me trying not to cry. I can't talk because if I open my mouth, I'll start bawling and won't be able to stop. On our way to our next place I can't stop it and Big Daddy won't leave me alone until I talk to him.

He says- well, didn't you already know that? Yes. but knowing isn't the same as admitting and admitting makes it real and real hurts. Later on the way home, he starts trying to make me feel better. Look at what he's done this past year! He's making progress where he wasn't. He's using a glass, he's *letting* you brush his teeth! Wait and see where he's at at the end of the year. Maybe he'll be doing even more. Then he throws my own words back at me (hate when he does that) Alex is Alex and that's just the way it is. then he adds that as far as Alex knows- there's something wrong with us, not him. He's happy the way he is, he doesn't know any different. Then he starts pointing out all the ways it could be worse. Lol, I love that man.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

2 Birthday Parties.

Ok, so, wow. Where do I start? It has been a DAY!!!

First, Walter woke me up with a cup of too sweet, over milked, cold coffee and a very nice card with my age prominently displayed on it. twice. awesome. Thanks, Walter. I let him know how much I appreciated it by drinking the entire cup (with a straight face) and oooing and ahhhing over the skills needed to create such a masterpiece. Big Daddy wanted to go to the store without me because he wanted to get my birthday present. I've been asking for the same thing for days now and he keeps telling me no. I want an ID bracelet for Alex but it has to be a specific one that is not made of metal, has all of my contact info and made of something that doesn't annoy him. So far the only one I have found that works is from my precious kid. But I need the adult sized one because the other one doesn't fit anymore. The answer this morning did not change. My brother says it's because it's MY birthday so I need to get something for me. I say this IS for me because I want to keep my baby forever. even if he doesn't want to stay with me forever. They weren't buying it. The other thing I wanted was a new MP3 player because my other one died.

So he went to the store without me. and so did my brother. for separate birthday parties. on the same day. yeah. because someone thought this would be a genius idea. Then because neither wanted me tagging along, both had to go to multiple stores to get the things on my list when I could have went and gotten exactly what was in my head or at least something that would work instead. so, ha. that's what you get. *smirk*

My brother got the supplies for the Tiniest Supervillain's party because 2 years ago, her mom gave me the best birthday present ever. ah, I remember that day well... anyway, getting back on topic... which was... today's parties. Then Cruella ended up showing up waaaaay too early which guaranteed she would be on my last nerve before the cupcakes were even in the oven. My bro found this HUGE bag of balloons for like $5 that had all the girl colors.
He also got several other decorations perfect for a little princess' (hahaha) celebration.

Thank God for the Birthday Elves. I couldn't have done it without them.

My brother wanted to make the cupcakes himself. heck yeah!! go for it!
The birthday brat always gets the beaters.

Thing 2 had friends over (of course- they ARE the Three Musketeers). I pulled a chair over to the fridge to get the candles, misjudged the distance. I started speaking before I could even think of what I was saying and all three just stared at me in open mouthed shock. I guess they didn't know I knew those words. *snicker*

I knew these two would LOVE all the balloons. (and they thought I was crazy for wanting ALL of them blown up- ha!! crazy is in the eye of the beholder.)

After the cake and presents I was all excited that it was over, especially when my brother started helping me clean up!!!! He DID!! Anyway, I was all looking forward to relaxing and for people to go away then I was informed my "party" had to be a party too. with candles. and singing. and people. and kids. then at the end of the day- only one kid went home because the rest belong here. And then her mother text me wanting to send her back for the night. NOOOOO!!!! I read the message out loud and didn't get to the last word before looks of horror all around and a chorus of "NO!" All in all it was a really good day and I'm looking forward to the Little Dementor's party next weekend. "Power Rangers Unite!!" Yes, I am a glutton for punishment but they LOVE it so much!!! I love the looks on their faces at all the decorations and how it's JUST what they wanted and it's ALL ABOUT THEM!!! In such a big family, they have very little that's all them.

and this is the very example of why, when it comes to Mother's Day, I don't mess around. Now, some of you mothers are probably all "ohhh, it's Mother's Day! you should want to be with your kids!" Hell, no! I have mine plus some 364 days a year. For Mother's Day I want a cold beer, my mp3 player, every one else to take their own kids and for mine to go somewhere else. They have Other Parents for a reason and if they can't help out 364 days a year, I'll be damned if they get out of this ONE!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Angry Rant.

Ok, you know what? I was not going to write this. I was totally just going to shut up and walk away but whatever. we can go there. Asperger's is NOT the same as Severe Autism. It's just not. I don't know hardly crap about Asperger's and I don't pretend to. I'm not saying Asperger's is a walk in the park because 1. I don't know and 2. from what I hear from that side of the fence- IT'S NOT. But it's not Severe Autism, same as Severe Autism isn't Asperger's.

The one thing that irritates me is that while most of us will admit to not knowing crap about what we don't know crap about, some of the Asperger's Adults want to pretend that they KNOW Severe Autism. I'll tell you right now- no. you don't. You want to tell us "Oh, this stuff doesn't happen in the real world." well, YES, it does. We, the ones drowning in the deep end, are living it. We KNOW Severe Autism. We KNOW our kids.

My entire point here is- preach what you know. Don't act like you know our kids because you don't.

Next, who made any of the Asperger's Adults judge of all Autism Parents? Some, not all- because I know some have legitimate complaints, of you are ungrateful brats who don't appreciate the fact that, perfect or not, your parents did the best they could to deal with something they knew very little about. Well, guess what- some of us NT adults had crappy parents too. Get over it. Don't blame other parents for your parents' "mistakes".

We are doing the best we can to help our kids and show them they are loved. So very freakin sorry our parenting doesn't rise to your standards. I hope you do a helluva better job with your kids than I seem to be doing with mine in your eyes.

Lastly, I don't care so much what you think about my parenting skills, really. I don't need your approval on what I see as being in my child's best interest. What I do care about is that you lump all parents together and accuse all of the same when, truthfully, you have not one friggin clue what you are talking about in the first place. You accuse people of getting autism wrong when the autism you describe doesn't exist for us, because you don't live in the world we live in. You lose sight of the fact that Autism is a spectrum and our kids are dealing with different issues and different behaviors on different levels.

You have the right to your own opinions but don't think for a second I don't have a right to mine.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

ooga wooga :)

Alex's teacher sent a note home yesterday asking what "ooga" means :)


No more bad news.

Ok, I just saw yet another headline that is disturbing but I refuse to read the article. I've had enough of the bad news lately, I don't want anymore. There is a reason I refuse to watch the nightly news- it upsets me. Usually for no reason. Grape Jelly On Pizza, I loved your post about the "dear" crossing guard. When you guys have a bad day- yeah, I want to hear about it!!! The bad news I'm talking about are the ones that cause me paranoia and nightmares. Especially the ones involving school abuse.

Ok, let's see if I can remember all of it lately...

Remember when the school in Katy, Texas was shoving vinegar soaked cotton balls in the kiddo's mouths? Then I freaked out when Alex came home smelling like vinegar a few months back?

Or State Rep Bob Nicholas?

Or the parents that sent a recorder in their kid's back pack and heard what the aides were saying to their sweet girl?

Or even Brooklyn Warrior Mom who is now afraid to send her daughter to school because the aide that was caught bullying her still works for the school.

Or in ...Kentucky, was it?... the boy who was shoved into a gym bag because he was "bad".

Now according to this headline, our schools have gone from bullying to just not doing good enough. Ok, I can't say I agree or disagree with the whole thing because I refuse to read it. and I will refuse to read anything else that even looks like it might even maybe could possibly be partly cloudy news as far as the schools go.

I will tell you about Alex's school. I was given a card- it has the principal, OT, ST, ABA and music therapists names, phone numbers and email addresses. When Alex started in this new class, HIS TEACHER contacted ME. I did not ask for her info, she just gave it to me. Actually, I have a status update from that day...

ohmygoodness! I freaking LOVE this new teacher!!! Alex switched classes mid-year (not sure why, not sure if I want to know why. they said something about independence and next year's teacher... idk, anyway,) The note home is a-maz-ing!! he was happy, he had a BM, he used the computer, made choices, did literacy stuff, had ST, AND "Alex had a good first day with us. He is exploring the room and we are learning about him. He is quite a cutie. Is *Walter his older brother or younger brother?" THEN she doesn't stop there, she tells me her name again (thank God bc I forgot) and her e-mail and her classroom phone # and her voicemail phone #!!! Yay for detailed notes! and she tells me to feel free to call or write *snicker* nah, just kidding, I won't abuse it :) ok, gotta get back to the kids, just HAD to share.

I have had email conversations with the counselor, ST, OT and the principal about various things regarding Alex. I was taking Alex to school pretty frequently, after a few weeks I was asked to not walk him to his classroom, just meet the aide at the office because walking him to the classroom was upsetting his morning routine. This isn't the first time I've heard this- the last school asked me to just stop bringing him in, this one will at least let me as far as the front hall so I'm happy. In this school we can't hardly get out of the car before people start greeting him by name. The guy out front directing buses, random people in the hallways that I have no clue who they are, it seems everyone here knows him by name and has a smile, a hug or a high five for him. I can see that he is very much liked in this school and that eases my worry. I am not afraid of what is going on when I can't see him because of what I see when I am there and the notes I get home. I trust this school completely because of the real open door policy, I know that this school isn't just talking the talk. They are not hiding anything from me, I can see that. But then I read these things (above) and I wonder... I know the truth but still worry because that's my job, that's what I do :) and so, I came to the conclusion that yes, what is happening in other schools is terrible and something does need to be done about it but I just can't. For the sake of my sanity and having a comfortable relationship with a school I KNOW is good for and to Alex, I have to back out of this battle.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


I had a girl post on my wall that she had set up a page for her brother and she wanted me to check it out and share. I'm thinking facebook page, go look share on my page. Oh, boy! Was I ever wrong!!!

This is a special girl. At 20 years old I should probably be referring to her as a woman but she's younger than both of my step-daughters, a year older than my baby sister and the Pretty Pretty Princess and 2 years older than my oldest. to call her a woman would mean I have to take a good hard, long look at the others actually being adults and I'm not ready for that. Her age in comparison to the others is part of what impresses me so much about this girl- Arielle.

Her "page" is not a facebook page where she shares this and that and her life experience with a sibling o the spectrum. Her "page" is a webpage. and her webpage is a WEBPAGE. Like the King Kong of autism webpages. You may have to see it to understand what I am talking about, I'll include a link to that here.

She has a home page that is the introduction, explanation and dedication of the site.

The next tab is the "about me" which tells you who she is, what her experience is and leads into contact info and a request for YOUR story. She is not just telling you things, she wants to hear your story too.

The next tab is "autism". That takes you directly to a place where the type of disorder autism is is questioned, which oddly, is a very good explanation.  Under that tab is- what is autism, The Spectrum, What does it mean to be "on the spectrum"?, signs and symptoms, causes and diagnosis, common questions, and FACTS.

She goes on to talk about "services" that are available and who/how to contact the organizations to apply or to get more information.

Then it's "treatments" where she describes a few of the Early Intervention therapies out there.

The "News and Events" tab takes you to News, Events, Inspiring Articles and Discussions.

"Our Stories" takes you to Stories pg 1 which is a collection of stories from people dealing with autism, poems, interviews and videos.

Tips and Ideas are a collection of tips from professionals and families who live autism. That leads you to tips for families, tips for teachers and a list of books and movies about autism.

The page that Arielle put together here looks like it will be a very important, maybe even vital tool for learning about autism. I am astounded at the amount of research and work she put into making this. I am beyond moved that she would put all this effort in for her brother. He's not her child, she does not have to take care of him but she cared enough about him to do this. She cares enough about people struggling with a diagnosis and about spreading awareness that she put this excellent webpage together.

All I can say is thank you, Arielle. and for everyone else- you have to see this!!! What can we do to help her get this out there?

Wednesday's Words With Walter

Sorry for all those people that went to go look at my blog and nothing was there (editor's note- in compliance with the true spirit of the guilt trip code, he has no idea I posted Wednesday) but this time there will be a blog. Ok, so, I guess you all know Alex is sick and as a big bro I will take care of him (editor's note- BWAHAHAHA!!!!) It all started Wednesday afternoon, I was reading "The Kid Who Ran for President" I'm at pg 55 and he starts crying and Goofy says the light bulb fell on his head (another note- I'm sure Goofy had NOTHING to do with it, it fell all on it's own.) It didn't. After a thorough search we found the light bulb in Goofy's drawer then we thought he was crying for no reason. He kept crying so we take him to the doctor's office and the doctor says he has 2 ear infections and a cold. So, it's Thursday and he doesn't go to school. I come home and do my homework. Yes, I do homework. Why don't teachers just say no homework? Ok, enough of me. So, I'm finished with my homework, go play with Alex and then Friday come home, no homework. YES, finally the teachers do something right and right away, here I come, Alex! and then we eat dinner, we go to bed. I wake up to Big Daddy and Goofy going out for a ride. Then, I watch a movie and the movie is over, the I write this. But the day is not over and Big Daddy and Goofy still have not come back from their outing. I'm sorry, I just wanted to say outing. Sorry if it's a weird word. Sorry for the weird ending. Bye.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Home schooling pre-school sucks.

All you mamas out there who home school by choice and like it... you get a big round of applause from me. A standing ovation, even.

So, we tried to send Goofy to kindergarten this year even though I was worried about it and heartbroken that I was losing my baby. He stayed in for 2 weeks before 2visits to the principal's office, several notes home, a phone call and a picking him up early once followed by becoming a kindergarten drop out. Let me see if I can remember his list of offenses...

  • He would not listen at story time, he'd much rather loudly declare that he was eating his boogers.

  • He did not see the need to wait his turn to speak, no matter what was going on or who was speaking.

  • He did not want to sit still, he spent his time running around the classroom climbing on, under and behind furniture.

  • He did not see the need to stay inside the classroom, he would take off to go to the bathroom or whatever he needed without asking first (every time).

  • He threatened to hit someone with a chair.

  • He took a girl's bow out of her hair.

  • He invited her to stick her fingers under the chair leg so he could smash them.

  • He did not attempt to do his work. If he did do his work, he cut it up before it could be graded.

  • He was focused on markers and when asked to put them away, hid that he was playing with them.

  • He monopolized the Aide. She had to be with him every second of the 1/2 day.

  • He threatened to hit a boy with a pencil box.

  • He would not sit in his seat on the bus, he ran up and down the aisle screaming the whole way.

He's smart. very. He's known shapes/colors/alphabet for years, he knows mom and dad's names and phone numbers and his home address. He's got problem solving/ thinking skills out of this world. He plays this game where he has to figure out how to get from point A to point B using unconventional methods- he goes way farther than I can. He's a computer nerd. If I'm not on, he is- he's found youtube along with a bunch of gaming sites. He's got an insane memory and a just as insane imagination. He started talking early and I don't mean the whole mama, dada, baba crap, the boy practically came out speaking full sentences. He figured out how to get porn channels (when he was 3) and later order movies including Alice in Wonderland 3 times (after mama freaked walking in on porn he switched to kid shows), then when we switched the code to something harder than 1234, ordered The Lion King in 3D. He knows rules, when I tell him he can't watch something, he listens. He just recently told me that my bro couldn't watch family guy because Stewie wants to kill his mother (the reason I gave HIM for not watching) and tells Walter he can't watch shows because they say bad words. My sister tried to get him to ask for f*ckin pie once. He asked for pumpkin pie. she said NO! I said... he said yeah, I want pumpkin pie. She said NO! F*CKIN pie! tell her you want f*ckin pie! he looked at her like she was crazy and said no, I don't want bad word pie, I want pumpkin pie. What's not allowed is not allowed. unless it's something he "can't" control like being wild and feral.



He understands counting objects, addition, subtraction.


He can identify most letters but can only write A.


He has several sight words-
we   the   and   all   see   go
to   so   I   a   me   my   up
was   now   in   on
it  or   am

and we're still working on-
big   red   play

But getting the child to pay attention is damned near impossible!!! Working independently- forget it. I asked for ADHD meds but he can't have them until he's 6. I wonder sometimes if there's more going on than ADHD but Big Daddy thinks I'm looking for something where there is nothing.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Silent Sunday

He's so pretty

And I love the way he'll eat anything I hand him- including spinach pizza

The way the Goofy one looks is all Big Daddy's fault.

He likes the steering wheel. (shocker, huh?)

He also likes buttons.

Dropped Thing 2 off with his friends.

and tried to let Alex walk through Wal-Mart. Didn't last long.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Ancora Impartial

This is probably not going to be an up-beat post because my heart is aching. I got a message that my friend, Ancora Impartial, has left for a year. He has been preparing for this for a while, including writing THAT letter, the one we all hope no one ever has to read. He is leaving behind his very amazing wife (Wife)- who he loves more than you can even imagine, his daughter (Teenager)- who was just accepted into the best arts college in the US, his Victoria Angel that he lost to SIDS (he visits her as often as he can- over there, he can't), his twins (Boy and Girl).

He is leaving his family for us. To provide medical care to the people fighting and risking their lives for us. For you. In doing so, he is risking his own life. He is indescribable. I could use words to describe the person he is but the words would never be enough. You are going to have to read his blog to see for yourself and even then you won't get the whole picture until you check out his page. and even then, that's not all of him but you get an idea.

Where he's at, he will have some internet access and says he will try to keep up with us and let us know how he is doing but even so, I will share his page every single day until he comes home because it's what I can do to show him my support. I'm going to ask you to go "like" his page because it's one small way that you can say "Thank you." and "I appreciate you." and it's one small way you can show him he has your support. That you understand what he is risking for you. How many likes can we get before he gets home? Will you help me, please?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A lot of good things happen when you "just say no."

Walter bailed on me this week because I didn't give him a question.

Walter and Goofy made me smile this morning and reminded me how lucky I am. I have a lot of kids here on a regular basis so it takes a lot to keep up with what they need so I started this new thing, it's called "NO."

I guess it started when Cruella lived here because that girl is hard to get ready for school. I would lay their clothes out at night then the first ones to get ready were Walter and Cruella because their bus came first. I would have to run her bath water (she refused showers), pick her up out of bed, walk her over to get her clothes, walk her upstairs, help her wash her hair, wait for her to get out, fix her breakfast, dry/brush her hair ... you get it. Walter wasn't much better and then there was Alex and Goofy. and then homework. aw, man you don't even KNOW!!! Thing 2 is ADHD, Walter is ADHD, Cruella is ADHD. It got to the point I was drinking a beer almost every night just to get through homework.  So, I started saying no. I started letting them take the natural consequences of not doing what they were suppose to be doing. I made up lists (like a schedule) of what they needed to do, put them in picture frames and gave them dry erase markers to check things off their list. I told them all- do what you can do, THEN come ask for help. If you don't at least make an effort on your own, I'm not helping.

The results of that was a lot less stress. Cruella learned to brush her own hair all the way through, she was more cooperative with homework because she'd much rather help me help her than to do it on her own, she started taking showers because it was easier than her having to run a full bath, Walter started getting himself 100% ready for school, he started doing more of his homework on his own because he "didn't need" my help and his chores no longer needed to be supervised. LOL, and Cruella only missed the bus once :) (she hates housework)

Then this year, Walter is totally "capable" of taking care of himself. He doesn't need me to tell him what to do. So, I gave him space. He doesn't have his list anymore because he "knows" what he's doing. Well, I just got his report card.

Language             C         Good attitude
Social Studies      B+       Always tries
Math                    D+       Does not complete assignments   *ouch*
Advisory              S
PE                        A+
Computer             B+
Science                B-
Literature             C         Missing work
Band                    B+

For the most part- I'm impressed. Compared to report cards from years past, he's doing great!!! and the best part... he earned these grades on his own! I should have stepped back years ago :)

Then I come in from putting Alex on the bus and Goofy's set the kitchen table. He has the bread laid out, peanut butter and is looking for jelly. "Mom, can you make me a sandwich? I already got the bread." :) of course, I can. That's good helping yourself. He, being the shy, modest person he is says- I know.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Fingernail Polish Does Not Cause Homosexuality

 Goofy likes to have his nails painted.

He also likes to cook.

and LOVES flowers.
He loves a good bath with bubbles, lotion, hair gel, smelling good and nice clothes...
I understand that these are normally considered "girl" activities, what I do not understand is why they can only be "girl" activities.

Fingernail painting is good for a variety of reasons- 1. sensory. The feeling of nail polish on your finger nails is much the same as the feeling of finger paints on your hands. 2. Fine motor skills, hand eye coordination. 3. The visual aspect of seeing the bright colors that are proven mood boosters. 4. Arts and crafts. Taking this color and mixing with that color to see what happens. 5. Bonding. It's an activity you do with your child- that always promotes some sort of parent/child bond.

I like to paint Goofy's nails when he asks because he usually asks when I'm painting my own which means it's something we do together. I love spending that time with him and I love the conversations we have. There are not many activities we do together where we sit still enough to have a real conversation about whatever he is thinking about, with most things we talk about what we're doing. He has a beautiful mind and I like knowing what is going on in there. We do have fingernail polish parties with T.S. and Cruella but the 1:1 is my favorite.
he also likes to throw things


playing with sticks and water


video games


John Cena


riding his scooter at the park

There is a never-ending list of things Goofy likes. I let him enjoy his life to the fullest. Painting his nails is not going to "turn" him gay. Homosexuality is just as contagious as Autism. He is what he is, and I like him just so. I don't care what he grows up to be- he will still be my boy, he will still be my baby. I will love him and whoever he chooses to bring home because he loves them. I am an equal opportunity Mother In Law to all my boys' spouses regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, ancestry, sex, disability, religious or political affiliation, age, lawful source of income or familial status. If Big Daddy has a problem, well, he won't for long. I know the bible says homosexuality is a sin, all I have to say to that is let he who is without sin cast the first stone.  

I will not change the way I raise my child or restrict his interests because of what society deems acceptable. This is MY son and I will decide what is best for him and I will determine what is acceptable. I don't care a bit what society tells me my child needs to be. The bottom line is he is my child, I don't need your approval.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Silent Sunday

This week in review...

Thing 1, his girl, Walter and Alexander

Goofy and The Little Dementor

The Pretty Pretty Princess


Walter and Goofy

Thing 2 and Alexander

Grandma and Alexander

Cruella on her way to play with the boys

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Great Weighted Spoon Endeavor

I was thinking about Alex's recent success with heavy drinking glasses and started wondering about his spoon. Maybe he would be more comfortable with a weighted spoon than the usual ones and would be more likely to use it. and so, of course, I go to my good friend google. because as long as it does not involve a trumpet, google always has the answer. Well, Google said there was a way to make your own and not spend $7+/ spoon. So I decide to try it with a few hoosier-type modifications to their recipe.

These (plus duct tape) are the supplies you will need. That is 2 cellophane wrappers from empty cigarette packs, a lighter, fishing weights (I used the weight of the glass to guess at what I needed), scotch tape, and a spoon.

I divided the weights equally between the wrappers.

 If you recognise this method, I would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself ;) Not all the skills I learned in my younger days were wasted. Tuck the middle of the sides in like a Christmas present, roll and use a lighter to heat up the edge then pat to fuse it to the roll.

Then use the scotch tape to attach the individual packages to the spoon to keep them in place.

Wrap the entire thing in duct tape, because... Yet again, There's Hope, duct tape IS the answer. *smirk*

Round 1: Nada. I gave it to him and he dropped it like I handed him a snake. Try again in the morning, if that doesn't work, I'll cut the weight in 1/2. Good thing someone *accidentally* *forgot* to give thing 1 his duct tape back :)

 Round 2: one bite before he dropped it.

So, Round 3: I decided maybe the weight was too much so I took half of it off and tried again. Uh-uh.
So I thought well, this sucks. Round 4: choices.

I admit defeat. Suggestions, anyone?