Monday, March 14, 2016

Go. To. Sleep!

You remember the promise that babies will learn to sleep through the night before their first birthday? I spend many nights cursing that lie.

I'm starting to think I will never get a full night's sleep again. I may be ok with that, but the temper tantrums that go along with it are driving me insane. Unfortunately, alcohol and sleeping pills don't mix or this misadventure could be made a little more tolerable.

I believe I've told you that my goofy one has trouble sleeping. We've done sleep meds and sleep studies and taken tonsils and adenoids out and still we don't sleep. Survey says... wait for it... *just* ADHD. *Just* ADHD has no cure and the amount of medication you pour into your child needs to be limited or you get some crazy-ass side effects like insomnia. Oh, wait...

Anyway, the child is not in any way over-medicated, promise. I actually just had a reasonable, helpful, and polite discussion with his school over his medication (no sarcasm). I have become desperate for calm evenings and at least a few consecutive hours of sleep so I picked up his 12:30 meds to give him after school instead. We then decided that his fragile self esteem- specifically regarding school work and classroom behavior in front of peers- is a bigger issue, a higher priority, than my sanity, especially considering the risk of insomnia -_- so I have to take the meds back as soon as I get a chance. Eventually.

The discussion over his meds and my determination for him to sleep didn't just jump out of the blue. We were actually meeting over his truancy. Between doctor's appointments, sleep issues, and his refusal to get ready for school because he hates everything about it....he's missed more school than is allowed. Then there are the tardies. Our counselor says I'm not supposed to hover or nag or in any way feed the negative attention seeking. It's supposed to calm our relationship. He's late for school every day. He and Alex both have to be at school at 9 and I'll be damned if Alex is late for school because Aiden can't get his shit together.

I quit one of my jobs, I started disabling all electronics so he wouldn't be able to entertain himself in the middle of the night, and I've started sitting up until he's definitely asleep. It takes a long frigging time. Then once he's asleep, I go to bed and he comes to find me because his leg hurts, his neck hurts, his belly hurts, he's hungry, he's thirsty, he's bored, he's scared, he's cold, he's hot....you know the neverending list. And, I'm about to strangle him.

It's not so much the lack of sleep, although I don't doubt that it contributes, but the screaming and crying and accusations of being an uncaring, horrible mother who doesn't even care about her kids and threatening to run away to live in the wild or to run away to live at Daddy's house because HE actually takes care of his kids is about pushing me to the point that the counselor can shove his no spanking rule where the sun don't shine....but his current advice is not to engage and to know that this will pass.

It's 10:05 pm...I haven't heard a word out of that one for a full 60 seconds, so maybe the counselor is onto something...

Alex, on the other hand, is wide awake and doesn't seem ready to settle down any time soon.